Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2017-01-03 09:25 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- dragon age: fenris (crau),
- dragon age: varric tethras,
- guilty gear: venom,
- marvel 616: laura kinney,
- mcu: bucky barnes (crau),
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: jesse mccree,
- overwatch: mei-ling zhou,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: adam parrish,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: harry flynn,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- x-men movies: james "logan" howlet,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
january event log
Who: Everyone
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
E V E N T L O G |
"Let them in, and take them out."
|
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Maybe I should stay far away from this stuff and...go back to being an uneducated blacksmith.
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I'm saying i should just stay a dumb blacksmith, because what if, in my pursuit of knowledge, I end up getting involved in something I shouldn't have? What if I work on something that changes me for the worst instead of for the better?
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If it was a mistake, no one would have gone to space in the first place. Or even invented smithing. You can't assume because one person went overboard with alien tech, you're going to do the same.
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...You know, back on my world?
If I hadn't been adopted by my town's blacksmith and shown that I had a knack for smithing? I'd probably be a soldier. Not because I'm a fighter or anything like that, but because I just didn't have the aptitude for anything else.
I didn't have any elemental affinity, so I couldn't get accepted into a magic guild...my family didn't have the money to send me to a trade school. I would have gone from orphan to soldier provided I didn't just die in a gutter somewhere.
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Is that what you're saying here? Because that's a stretch. Even for you.
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I got lucky. That's it. But my point is that I've always wanted to be more. I hated the way my country was run, hated the damn royals for making it so only the rich could amount to anything. Hell, it's probably why it was so easy for everyone to believe I was capable of mur--...
...[He stops himself and shoots Shiro a look. Maybe he wouldn't piece it together.]
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[Oh child.]
[He's going to piece it together. And Not React. Not yet. He just gives him a steady look.]
Darin. What's going on?
Don't talk around it. What is going on?
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Explain what's going on.
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Explain which part, Shiro?! Which part?! The part that I'm a monster or the part that I'm afraid screwing with the Ingress could let that monster out?! Huh?! Which one??
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[He flinches internally, at that. Doing his best to keep it off his face. It's been a while since he heard those words bouncing around in his head. He'll see if he can't fight them off a while longer.]
Both.
Or whichever one is going to let us help.
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And unless you're willing to cut me down, then there is no helping. And honestly? You've seen the scar on my back. I don't think you could kill me if you tried. If a goddamn Archfiend couldn't do it when I was a child then I sincerely doubt anyone has the strength to do it now.
[He stands up and starts pacing in agitation. Searching for words. Searching for a way out. Finally, he just turns to Shiro.]
I'm not human, Shiro. I was supposed to be, but I'm not.
[The words are desperate. His voice is pleading. They're so full of anger and remorse and it's all directed at himself.]
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[He stays put against the wall. Watching him. He's still being as honest as possible. Especially when he says he just doesn't know.]
[Lying and pretending isn't in him.]
[He had something else to say, but... I was supposed to be, but I'm not... makes him stop. And study the ground at their feet.]
I was supposed to be a pilot. That's all I wanted. I was supposed to complete the biggest mission humanity had ever taken on itself. And bring my crew back safely.
... but I'm not.
I'm something else. Something I never asked to be. I... don't even remember it -- not all of it.
[Champion... He shoves that voice, the image of glowing eyes, hands reaching out, holding him down, of bright lights and shouting alien voices, out of his mind. Squaring up his shoulders.]
You're not the only one here who had no say in what they were made into. You're not the only one who hates it.
So maybe you're not too far past help.
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[No wonder he felt drawn to Shiro. The similarities were so stark. And yet, here Shiro was...somehow keeping it together.]
[Darin was thankful. He really was. He lowers his head, ashamed as the next words tumble out of his mouth.]
Shiro...
...I'm supposed to end the world...
That's what I was born to do...
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[But that won't help. It won't help anyone -- not the one who needs him right now. So he takes a deep breath. And drags it back into the open.]
... I was supposed to be some kind of weapon for the enemy. Be their right hand or... something I don't remember.
Instead, I'm helping fight them with everything they did to me.
[He steps forward, then, drawing himself up.]
What you're "supposed" to do doesn't mean anything if you can fight it. I'm going to.
Are you?
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[He doesn't realize it, as his own thoughts are focused inward, but the air around him has suddenly grown heavy. The thought of his friend, possibly his best friend, being turned and used into something like him?]
[If he ever found who did this, he'd tear them limb from limb.]
[Then, all at once, the weight in the air, the pressure is lifted. Darin's sharp green eyes meet Shiro's gaze.]
What if...what if I start to falter? What if I start to become like my brother..?
...Will you stop me?
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[He doesn't want to answer the question. He doesn't... want to even entertain the idea. Because there's a part of him that doesn't ever want to have to hurt someone important again -- even to protect them.]
[But he keeps that off his face.]
[He keeps the memory of the last time he'd had to hurt someone to save them out of his head. And how he may have let them down, in the process.]
I don't pretend like I understand what all you're talking about here. [Mostly because Darin's been vague as hell. The weird pressure thing just makes it more confusing.] But...
I'll help. You know that.
It's what I do.
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I won't lie, I've...seen what I may be capable of.
Somewhere, deep inside of me...I have the power to level cities. Maybe even more than that. My brother has it. He and I are the same...twins born with the same destiny.
[He looks at his hands. He'd spent his life creating things. He loved it. But maybe it's because he was trying to avoid what he truly was at all costs.]
I don't know the extent of my power. I know I'm strong and I know I'm stupidly hard to kill. But there's more. I can feel it.
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[Granted, he sort of doubts this thing hanging off his shoulder is some kind of nuclear weapon. Or can level anything so big as a city. But it's the same sort of idea.]
[Not knowing what it is you're really capable of.]
[He's fought with it in front of Darin before, but this is different. His hand ignites -- purple light blazing from fingertip to wrist. He reaches back behind him, to the wall. And with no more effort than putting his hand in a pail of water, the glowing fingers cut straight through the metal.]
You'd think this kind of thing would come with a manual. But it doesn't.
[He pulls his hand back. The light dies, and the hand is undamaged. The wall is another story.]
There's always more to it than you want there to be.
I guess my point is, you're not the only one.
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[Darin's smile is bemused and weak. He wanders over to the wall nearest him and places a hand on it. Slowly, almost as if he were pushing into a pillow, with next to no effort, Darin's hand sinks into the metal wall, denting and shaping it to the contours of his hand. Then, he tightens his grip and he tears the metal screaming away from the wall, as if it were made of tissue paper. He crumples it into a ball and drops it with a hard clang.]
I've...never really known what it's like to have someone have a similar problem. After Dromas died...I was alone. I was constantly holding myself back...hiding what I could do. Measuring myself to what I thought would be normal for a kid to be able to do...then a teenager...and now as a grown adult.
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[But he keeps that to himself. Carefully squashing it.]
My advice? Find out what the limits are. Stop comparing, and figure it out, if you don't already know.
... there isn't really anything comparable, anyway.
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[He snorts.]
How do you measure half of a god's power?
I'm not trying to be sarcastic...it's a legitimate question. Diomuhr, half of who's soul is bound to mine, is the Lord of the Archfiends. Basically the king of Hell. His power combined with the Lord of the Celestials created my world. I have half of...that I guess.
I'm afraid of my limits. I've seen what Dromas has done without even trying. If I ever lost control...
[He lets the world ending implications hang in the air.]
I don't know how I've managed to keep my power suppressed. Maybe because I've grown up consciously trying to fit in and be normal and I've been measuring it incrementally as I grew. Who knows? But it leaks out from time to time. Things...happen.
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[One more way they're both in the same boat. Who knows what this thing he's got is capable of? He'd seen the supposed "upgraded" model. Something hideous and deformed. There's... no real way to know without asking whoever was responsible for putting it there.]
... looks like we're more in the same situation than we thought.
[He won't say it's exactly the same, but it's close.]
And so you're afraid what you're doing with the Ingress is going to make all of it worse?
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Never thought about it before. But all this talk about energy...
I don't know. It's got me doubting. If something goes haywire with the Ingress, there's no telling what it could do to me.
[He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. It's becoming more and more obvious that doing that is a tell for when he gets anxious.]
Y'know, I've been thinking about your arm. Your prosthetic, I mean. You've always been guarded about it. I didn't wanna pry but...
I guess, what I want to say is that if something goes wrong with it, I can make you a new one. Maybe not as sophisticated but...with the things I've been learning...maybe one day it's possible.
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