Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2017-01-03 09:25 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- dragon age: fenris (crau),
- dragon age: varric tethras,
- guilty gear: venom,
- marvel 616: laura kinney,
- mcu: bucky barnes (crau),
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: jesse mccree,
- overwatch: mei-ling zhou,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: adam parrish,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: harry flynn,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- x-men movies: james "logan" howlet,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
january event log
Who: Everyone
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
E V E N T L O G |
"Let them in, and take them out."
|
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Just. Look before you toss, next time? I should have knocked.
Are you okay?
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[He stands up and crosses the room, holding out his hand for the notebook.]
Yeah just...thinking. Taking stock. Figuring some things out.
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[He hands it over without further ado, of course, glancing around the room.]
Figuring out star charts?
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Did you hear those audio logs?
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... Yeah. And they're more adding questions than answers. Is that what's bothering you?
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Sure, it was intimidating being from such a backwater, technologically inferior world, but that's the challenge, isn't it? That's where the fun is!
So, why do I feel like all that work I put into learning what the Ingress was, deciphering what I could about the energy...
What if it affects me? What if, in my zeal to learn...
What if I do something I can't take back?
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[He has a feeling this is going to be A Talk. So he goes all the way into the room, to lean up against a wall. Letting the door close behind him.]
From what I've heard, it happened fast. And it was intense. It wasn't something that gradually happened to him, either. If the same thing happened to any of us, we'd know by now.
... and if Pidge hasn't done something she can't take back, neither have you.
[Because let's be real, Miss Hacks The Entire Castle Ship And Also The Galra is more likely to get into some shit here.]
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What if one of us is just exceptionally good at hiding what we are. What if one of us pretends to be in control, but really has no idea how long that control is gonna last?
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[Because he is fairly sure it's not.]
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Maybe I should stay far away from this stuff and...go back to being an uneducated blacksmith.
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I'm saying i should just stay a dumb blacksmith, because what if, in my pursuit of knowledge, I end up getting involved in something I shouldn't have? What if I work on something that changes me for the worst instead of for the better?
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If it was a mistake, no one would have gone to space in the first place. Or even invented smithing. You can't assume because one person went overboard with alien tech, you're going to do the same.
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...You know, back on my world?
If I hadn't been adopted by my town's blacksmith and shown that I had a knack for smithing? I'd probably be a soldier. Not because I'm a fighter or anything like that, but because I just didn't have the aptitude for anything else.
I didn't have any elemental affinity, so I couldn't get accepted into a magic guild...my family didn't have the money to send me to a trade school. I would have gone from orphan to soldier provided I didn't just die in a gutter somewhere.
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Is that what you're saying here? Because that's a stretch. Even for you.
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I got lucky. That's it. But my point is that I've always wanted to be more. I hated the way my country was run, hated the damn royals for making it so only the rich could amount to anything. Hell, it's probably why it was so easy for everyone to believe I was capable of mur--...
...[He stops himself and shoots Shiro a look. Maybe he wouldn't piece it together.]
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[Oh child.]
[He's going to piece it together. And Not React. Not yet. He just gives him a steady look.]
Darin. What's going on?
Don't talk around it. What is going on?
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Explain what's going on.
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Explain which part, Shiro?! Which part?! The part that I'm a monster or the part that I'm afraid screwing with the Ingress could let that monster out?! Huh?! Which one??
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[He flinches internally, at that. Doing his best to keep it off his face. It's been a while since he heard those words bouncing around in his head. He'll see if he can't fight them off a while longer.]
Both.
Or whichever one is going to let us help.
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And unless you're willing to cut me down, then there is no helping. And honestly? You've seen the scar on my back. I don't think you could kill me if you tried. If a goddamn Archfiend couldn't do it when I was a child then I sincerely doubt anyone has the strength to do it now.
[He stands up and starts pacing in agitation. Searching for words. Searching for a way out. Finally, he just turns to Shiro.]
I'm not human, Shiro. I was supposed to be, but I'm not.
[The words are desperate. His voice is pleading. They're so full of anger and remorse and it's all directed at himself.]
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[He stays put against the wall. Watching him. He's still being as honest as possible. Especially when he says he just doesn't know.]
[Lying and pretending isn't in him.]
[He had something else to say, but... I was supposed to be, but I'm not... makes him stop. And study the ground at their feet.]
I was supposed to be a pilot. That's all I wanted. I was supposed to complete the biggest mission humanity had ever taken on itself. And bring my crew back safely.
... but I'm not.
I'm something else. Something I never asked to be. I... don't even remember it -- not all of it.
[Champion... He shoves that voice, the image of glowing eyes, hands reaching out, holding him down, of bright lights and shouting alien voices, out of his mind. Squaring up his shoulders.]
You're not the only one here who had no say in what they were made into. You're not the only one who hates it.
So maybe you're not too far past help.
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[No wonder he felt drawn to Shiro. The similarities were so stark. And yet, here Shiro was...somehow keeping it together.]
[Darin was thankful. He really was. He lowers his head, ashamed as the next words tumble out of his mouth.]
Shiro...
...I'm supposed to end the world...
That's what I was born to do...
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[But that won't help. It won't help anyone -- not the one who needs him right now. So he takes a deep breath. And drags it back into the open.]
... I was supposed to be some kind of weapon for the enemy. Be their right hand or... something I don't remember.
Instead, I'm helping fight them with everything they did to me.
[He steps forward, then, drawing himself up.]
What you're "supposed" to do doesn't mean anything if you can fight it. I'm going to.
Are you?
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