thisavrou_log | Well My Heart is Gold

Well My Heart is Gold

Who: Soundwave and Bumblebee (IDW)
When: Forward dating to the 10th
Where: A hallway near the Observation Deck
What: The robots are once again mature and solve their problems by punching each other, yaaay
Warnings: Violence and a little robo-blood

[Restlessness was an increasing feeling for Soundwave lately. There was really no way of knowing if they were any closing to being able to return or not. Apart from the captains' insistence that they were and he was less than willing to trust their word. He'd been putting so much time into trying to build a new home for the Decepticons that there was no room for other thoughts to creep into his mind. And despite how chaotic last month was, it was nothing compared to what Soundwave was used to. It wasn't enough to keep him from dwelling on how all of his plans had gone to shit and he was alone on this awful organic ship. He wasn't stupid enough to think Tarn cared for him apart from being another Decepticon on the ship.]

[It had been such a long time that he'd forgotten how much he hated being alone.]

[His restless wandering about the ship had brought him to the Observation deck. He really wished he could enjoy the view properly, but the noise was always unbearable. Whispering voices that he couldn't completely understand - too much like when he'd been stuck in Dead End. It made his nerves crawl. Soundwave had maybe been there five minutes before he made his way back into a hallway.]

[Maybe he could just go stand on one of the wings of the ship instead...]

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[Why so shocked, Bee? It's not like he's the one that died or something. But Soundwave doesn't move from his place by the doorway. He didn't exactly stop to startle Bee on purpose - it was more curiosity at how much the little Autobot remembered. There was no reason to be more threatening by closing the distance.]

I would be surprised that it was not all of them, however the last month on this ship was particularly chaotic.

[ no argument there. not really. the chaos had been... yeah. there are plenty of excuses for it, but really? Bee shrugs. ]

I needed some time to myself. The ones who wanted to say something did and those that didn't. Well. It has been busy.

I see.

[Needing time to himself is telling enough, he thinks. Even if Bee didn't remember what happened with Shockwave, he's pretty sure that means one of the other Autobots told him. They weren't exactly the quiet types, most of them.]

How long have you been here?

[ actually Bee's trying to figure out what Soundwave's angle is here. they were never friendly, even when they needed to fight on the same side. ]

A couple of months. I'm still not sure what to think about this ship yet. Something doesn't feel right.

[ how could they be going back home when different timelines converge and even different versions of themselves are here? just how much power could this ship contain to do something like that? Shockwave nearly killed Megatron to punch a hole into the dead universe... ]

[Mostly it's something to stop himself from thinking for a few minutes. And he has actually learned how to act friendlier, even if he doesn't feel it. If he didn't want the Decepticons to keep fighting an endless war with the Autobots, he needed to lead by example.]

It likely never will. You of all people would understand that.

[... But sometimes he still says shit like that. Just how much power the Ingress must have is part of why he doesn't trust the crew running this ship in the slightest. Bending timelines and realities together just spelled disaster.]

[ a sentiment that Bee actually agrees with. someone's not keen on repeating his past mistakes. Bumblebee regards what Soundwave says for a moment then looks back out the deck. ]

You're probably right. And I do and that's why it unsettles me.

[They've spent long enough repeating the same mistakes over and over, and expecting different results. Sometimes a new approach is needed. Though it's not exactly easy.]

Well, a few of the Autobots here likely need the reminder that they should not be so complacent. Perhaps that feeling is not a negative thing. You are someone they would be willing to listen to.

[ Bee pauses to give Soundwave the weirdest look. did he really just hear that come out of Soundwave's... er. lack of mouth?

he gives a sharp, harsh laugh. ]

They won't. I wasn't a very good leader of any sort. You should know that.

[He totally has a mouth. He just never shows it ever.]

[Soundwave leans against the doorway, just watching Bee passively as he laughs.]

Your orders may have been ineffective but you seen the result of the advice you have given others.

[ Soundwave laughing. what a creepy sound... feels wrong in so many ways. ]

It's only seemed to benefit one person and he looks more lost to me than anything else. Not entirely sure I would say that was successful - he had been having similar thoughts before I ever spoke to him.

[That's because it's the laugh of someone who sounds like a weird text to speech program and doesn't actually find the situation all that funny.]

If that is the case, you have a strange definition of success, little Autobot.

[Bee gave Megatron the last push he needed. With that, the bulk of the war had truly ended - for the moment who knew about later - which benefitted many. They had found colonies that had been lost for ages. Prime had been forced to stay to conduct Megatron's trial, and as much as he hated Prime, someone needed to watch Starscream and be able to convince people that he was a dumb aft if need be. The Decepticons may have got the short end of the bargain, but that moment had changed much for all Cybertronians. As for if it had truly benefitted Megatron? He couldn't care less.]

[ pfft. who is he talking to about such things? Soundwave doesn't really deserve to know the inner workings of his mind. or his regrets, as it were. ]

It's not much of a success because not much really changed, did it? Decepticons and Autobots alike are at each other's throats. War could really break out at any time.

[ and Bee? Bee hadn't really helped in that. he is regretful, if it's any consolation. if he had just been himself rather than the leader he thought he should be, maybe it would have been different. but what ifs aren't things to dwell on. ]

Megatron defected... That really doesn't help anyone but him, does it? Yeah it's great and all that he can see what he did wrong and try to change and I'm glad for that, but it's also cowardly. Running off on the Lost Light doesn't really mean he's no longer accountable for what he started.

[ success would have been bringing them all together. somehow. uniting Cybertronians again. however, Bee doesn't know that Megatron denounced Decepticonism at large. so there's that. ]

If you wished for a world where there was no possibility of war, perhaps you should have let Shockwave win. Change is not something that is easily accomplished, let alone in such a short time.

[Just sayin'. Thinking otherwise is setting yourself up to fail.]

As much as he would like to think it, Cybertron does not revolve around Megatron. His leaving benefitted as many as it hurt. Whatever he does with his time now is his business. If he wants to flee, let him.

No. No, it's not, but I'd like to feel like those steps have been forward, not backward.

[ well he's dead so he doesn't really get much to say. ]

But man... You really are bent out of shape, huh? I suppose it's only fair, since you're one of the ones that got left behind.

[Welp. Soundwave had been planning on telling Bee that there had been steps forward. With Megatron out of the picture, they had done good things. Optimus, ironically, had screwed up a good number of those, but everything wasn't all bad.]

[But then Bee opened his mouth again and said something in reference to Soundwave having anything to do with Megatron. It's sort of like watching an enraged cat slowly puff up.]

I spent four million years of my life trying to ensure his success - if leaving without a word is how Megatron wishes to repay that, then Tarn can melt him down and use him as a footstool for all it matters to me.

[ OOPS! ]

...There's the anger I was expecting. I was just amazed at how calmly you had been taking it.

[ because no one. NO ONE had been more loyal than Soundwave. ]

[Yeah sorry Bee. He'd been doing okay with repressing his anger back home where he didn't have to see Megatron's stupid face because he was trapped on the same ship with him, but here it's been more of a struggle.]

[He thought if he ever saw Megatron again and he was still an Autobot, he would at least have the spine to say something. It was Megatron - he'd fought against Primes. Coward was not a word Soundwave would have associated with him before. But since the only time his former leader could be bothered to so much as look at him here was when he needed something? Clearly he'd been mistaken. About a great number of things.]

I have better things to do than waste time being angry at someone who does not even -

[He cuts himself off as his vents huff loudly. He's not talking about this, especially not with Bumblebee of all bots. Soundwave pushes himself off the frame of the door.]

My feelings on the issue are irrelevant.

Are you sure? I think feelings are pretty relevant.

[ maybe if people had actually talked about them more, in length, a lot of things could have been avoided. everyone tries to guess each faction's motives or why they are doing what they are doing rather than sitting down and just... discussing.

Optimus had always assumed what Megatron had felt. he never really talked to the guy. not to really try to understand. at least Bee is of this opinion. for now. ]

Do not patronize me.

[He hisses the words out. Unfortunately the whole 'talking about your feelings' thing was generally an insult to Decepticons.]

My feelings were irrelevant when Megatron abandoned us, they were irrelevant when he renounced Decepticonism and called us flawed, and they were irrelevant when Prime followed us to Earth, destroyed our peaceful negotiations with the Earthlings, and derailed our dreams of having a home where we would not have to fight for the right to exist!

If my feelings were meant to be relevant in any capacity, perhaps you should inform someone of that fact.

[The side of Soundwave's fist hits the frame of the doorway he was standing in, denting it, and he turns to leave. He'd really said a lot more than he meant to, but he was fuming. Bumblebee, of all people, acting like he cared was just the last straw.]

Believe it or not, Soundwave, I don't go out of my way to patronize anyone. I sincerely believe a little more talking and a little less punching would have done us a whole lot of good.

[ this is... probably a bad move. but damn it. he can't really help it, but a hand goes to rest on what metal surface of Soundwave's frame he can reach. ]

While I have a hard time believing that anything involving the humans of our Earth could have resulted in anything good for any Cybertronian, you were one of Megatron's most loyal. Maybe I will smack him around a few times just so he'll stop sulking and actually talk things out with you. As he should.

[If he were less enraged, he would have seen that Bumblebee wasn't trying to be condescending. He would have appreciated that someone remembered he was one of the few Decepticons who had always, always followed Megatron as their leader.]

[But right now? Soundwave was just done with everything and everyone on this ship. And Bumblebee, of all people, the one who the irrational part of his mind wanted to blame all of this on, was touching his wrist.]

[He yanks his arm free before grabbing Bumblebee by the chest plate and just lifting him off the ground.]

You have done more than enough. I do not need, nor do I want your help! If Megatron cannot be bothered to remember I exist when he does not need my abilities without your assistance, then any conversation we could possibly have would be meaningless.

[ Bee's first instinct is to fight back. which he does. by kicking at Soundwave. just so that he can maybe jar himself free. ]

I'm sure it's not like that! Some times a guy needs to be yelled at for being too much of a coward to face his choices!

[That's a perfectly reasonable reaction to have to being lifted off the ground by someone who was probably tried to shoot you before. In positive news, Soundwave doesn't activate the cannon that is still attached to his shoulder. Instead he just grabs one of the legs kicking at him and starts to pull.]

[It isn't so much Bee yelling that gives him pause as it is the sound of something in Bee's leg popping. Or maybe crunching was a better word? Either way it didn't sound like anything good and it's enough to make him realize that he'd been trying to rip Bee's leg off.]

[He lets out a frustrated growl, tossing the little Autobot away with a lot more force than was necessary.]

Do not meddle in business that has nothing to do with you.

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Well My Heart is Gold

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