What goes on behind these doors

[whoami]

Who: Alan Bradley and Sam Flynn
When: 5/3
Where: Moro deck, room 4
What: Sam tries to be supportive for once. Key word there is "tries".
Warnings: Mentions of codescrew? Nothing else I can think of but TBE if needed


Alan wouldn't know it, but Sam actually had given up his habit of sleeping in random places all around the ship. His excuse had been that the guy in his room was a sociopath. That guy was gone, now, which meant Sam's excuse was gone, too. He likely would have made something up, but the idea of Peggy living alone bothered Sam enough to actually sleep in their shared room, in spite of his distrust of the Captains. It was nice to be able to take a shower whenever he liked.

It puts Sam on the same Deck as Alan. Only two doors away actually. And while Tex's post has seemed to have a polarizing effect on the entire crew, Sam is more concerned with how Alan is actually holding up. He admitted to feeling guilty once before.

Sighing, Sam knocked, then pushed both hands into the pockets of his uniform.

Comments

[alan_1]

[The door slides open, revealing a weary-looking Alan. It’s been a difficult few days to say the very least and this conversation is not one he wants to have. Still, he knows it’s one that they need to have, and sooner is better than later. Not ideal to have Sam wander around with misapprehensions about what happened ("Misplaced trust," some unforgiving part of him says) when the crew is in such an uproar. Alan steps to the side.] Come in.

[He’ll wait for Sam to start the conversation in earnest -- he’s the one who likely has the questions, after all.]

[whoami]

[ Sam does, but turns to look at Alan almost instantly. He at least waited until the door was closed, but that was about it. ]

Alan you have to say something. Tell the people out there what happened, or this is gonna get ugly.

[alan_1]

[Of course Sam would think that the truth would make things better. Of course he would believe that the people condemning Alan’s actions are merely misinformed. That faith in him stings knowing how much he doesn’t deserve it. Not now.]

Sam, do you know what happened? [Alan asks the question gently, but his expression is sober. He wants Sam to slow down, to realize that the battle lines aren’t drawn so clearly this time. That maybe “the people out there” aren’t entirely wrong in their assumptions.]

[whoami]

[ ...not quite the response Sam had expected. He frowns a bit, physically pulling back a little bit and tone just a bit wary. ]

Not exactly. Which is why you have to say something before they grab the torches and pitchforks.

[alan_1]

[Alan doesn’t move from his own place, merely watches Sam’s reaction. Sorrow flickers across his face when he thinks of telling him the truth of what happened, but there’s no point in avoiding it. He can’t lie to Sam. And he can’t change what happened.]

I didn’t edit Rinzler. But I tried to. [He doesn’t look away, though the admission clearly pains him.] They’re right about that much.

[whoami]

[ Of all the things Sam had been thinking of, this had not been one of them. It was like his brain hit a stumbling block. Because this was...this was Alan. He couldn't reconcile the image of the man that helped him with his homework, that taught him how to shave, how to drive, with the image of Clu who had become a warped reflection of his father. ]

...what? What do you mean 'you tried to'?

[ Sam could feel the start of something cold and terrible in the pit of his stomach. Alan. What did you do? ]

[alan_1]

[He can’t help but wince at the confusion in Sam’s voice.] I… I thought there was an error in Rinzler’s code. Something that was causing him to lash out without understanding why. [His brow furrows as he remembers his own thoughts, the ease with which he’d accepted that explanation.] I wasn’t trying to control him or to… lobotomize him. [The word had appeared multiple times on the network post and it’s the one thing Alan feels he can deny. That had never been what he wanted for the program.] I just… I couldn’t let him hurt anyone else. Or give them reason to hurt him.

[Because he’d already let it happen too many times, to too many people, long before he ever set foot on the Moira.] I was wrong about his code. And I know I made a mistake. But I was never trying to hurt him.

[whoami]

[ That cold and terrible feeling was starting to spread. Sam looked at Alan, that look went from confusion, to the barest flicker of worry before that got replaced by Sam's hands as they were pressed over his eyes. He was trying to think around that feeling of sick dread. But so far he was only achieving a headache. ]

Then...then that's what you need to say. You need to say you never meant to lobotomize him.

[ It seemed like that was the main accusation. And Sam didn't really agree with Alan's choices of co-conspirators, but one thing at a time. ]

[alan_1]

[Alan sighs.] I will. But not yet. For now, it’s better that people think I went through with it. [Because as many people are defending Rinzler now, Alan has firsthand knowledge that there are those who will be less than pleased to know that his mind remains unaltered.] The sooner they know that nothing’s changed, the sooner they’ll turn back to violence. [If that means Alan takes the brunt of the backlash in the meantime, then so be it.]

Just… keep your head down, okay? If you hear someone saying those things, don’t try and argue with them. With tensions the way they are… I don’t want to see you dragged into this in the crew’s eyes.