+61~

[jedimindtrick]

Who: Obi-Wan Kenobi (jedimindtrick) and OPEN
When: May 1st and beyond
Where: Misc. Locations
What: Catch-all for Ingress shenanigans and general threads for the month of May.
Warnings: Will update as needed.

FAR FROM NOWHERE! SHROUDED IN MYSTERY, THE BARREN WASTELANDS OF AMISSIS-RE HOLD THE PROMISE OF HOPE. GREETED BY AN INTELLIGENT AND HIGHLY ACCOMMODATING, BUT PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN HOST, PASSENGERS OF THE MOIRA ARE BEING URGED TO UTILIZE A HEAVILY MODIFIED VERSION OF THE FAMILIAR INGRESS TO RETURN TO THEIR HOMES. WITH FEW RESTRAINTS, ONLY FRACTURED TIME WILL TELL HOW THE LAST SECRETS OF THE WAR AND FAR BEYOND WILL BE REVEALED...

[[ Need someone to travel with your character? Obi-Wan Kenobi's your guy!
Need a starter or want to plot ahead? I'm your gal! Hit me up via PM or PP me @blakeroo on plurk. ]]

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+79

[jedimindtrick]

[ A not inconsiderable amount of time has passed since Obi-Wan met Han at the bar. The ensuing days have not resulted in as many clear conclusions as Kenobi had been hoping for, but even he could admit that the semi-heady enthusiasm that had crept up on him after leaving that conversation wasn't entirely courtesy of the alcohol. Solo had been on to something, and it's taken this long, but finally he's willing to do something other than concern himself about being concerned over it in the first place. It just so happens the timing is perfect.

Rare are the times he's alone in his room — Mero 006 is typically occupied by two younger ladies, both of which keep eccentric schedules. Coupled with Obi-Wan's somewhat nomadic nature and his utter refusal to sleep as much as he should, it's a surprise if he ever stumbles across even small stretches of solitary time.

The first opportunity to be alone in nineteen days and he invites Satine right away. It's a step, but taking it doesn't come with a breath of fresh air (or a breath at all). Kenobi finds, instead, that he's holding out for that breath, that he's pausing and hanging on this conversation as if everything hinges upon some still yet defined positive outcomes.

Somehow he doesn't this that's what anyone meant when they said he needed to live in the moment.

Door left open in anticipation of her arrival, Obi-Wan lingers on his egg bed, his legs crossed beneath him, not entirely comfortable, but certainly not uncomfortable. Knowing there's a potentially strenuous conversation ahead sets him ill at ease, but hiding that in the Force will be much easier than doing so in person. ]

[romanticsoul]

[ Satine is in her civvies when she enters his room, as informal as she can get on this ship. If they are to have some actual privacy together for once, she thinks she can give herself the right to be at least outwardly casual, even if the layers of responsibility that she is constantly shrouded in still remain very much intact. ]

Hello, Obi.

[jedimindtrick]

Satine.

[ He smiles and unfolds from his seated position to stand and greet her. Even after all this time, Obi-Wan hasn't seen fit to give up his traditional attire, so it's a little shocking to see Satine has given up her own. Of course, she has always been a bit more practical in that regard, hasn't she?

Kenobi gestures to the desk chair or the egg bed, offering for her to take her pick of the meager options in seating while he goes and seals the door behind them. He has no interest in interruptions at this point. ]

Thank you for meeting with me. I was— [ He hesitates as he glances back in Kryze's direction. ] I was hoping we could talk. [ And then, not wanting to linger just there, he adds: ] Mostly about— [ Oh, hells. ] About us.

[romanticsoul]

[ Well, unlike a jedi, Satine does like to change what she is wearing every now and then, and she doesn't have that many options here.

She is on her way to sit down on the edge of his bed when his words stop her, and she remains standing as she turns to look at him. ]

Oh?

[jedimindtrick]

[ This is clearly not his area of expertise. He's parsecs from his comfort zone even if he's trying his best to make it look like he isn't. Eyes drifting away, he looks again toward the bed and gestures a little helplessly. ]

Please, sit.

[ It's no assemblage of pillows decorating a pedestal, no grand throne, but it's Obi-Wan's one and only space on the whole of the ship he can call his own and he's glad to offer it to her. Although he doesn't sit right away, in an effort to not pace (It is a direct violation — an articulation of your discomfort, Master Windu had once accused), he pulls the chair from the desk and sets it out near the bed. ]

I realized I... owe you an apology. Many, no doubt. [ Kenobi doesn't usually concern himself so thoroughly with word choice, but it matters so much more when he knows it's going to be analyzed. He reminds himself to tread carefully. And to not wring his hands (Unbecoming, that is, Yoda would bluntly remind him). ]

But in particular, I wanted to express my regret in having never truly acknowledged the feelings I have for you.

[ He'd danced around the reality of it, teased at the idea, but he'd never fully accepted that part of himself knowing full well the violation it suggested. Strangely enough, there are no criticizing voices whispering unkind reminders over this overt expression of his internal turmoil. Not even the Force has an opinion to offer.

Neutral ground, perhaps. ]

[romanticsoul]

[ Satine sits, then, eyes wide and full of rare vulnerability. ]

Would it have changed anything if you had?

[ When they were young, perhaps. Had he clearly spoken the truth of his heart, perhaps she would have uttered the words that had burned on her tongue when they said their final goodbyes.

Come with me.

Perhaps she would not have watched him go then, her mouth filling with the taste of ash.

And perhaps that too would have led to sorrow in the end. It is useless to speculate.

But there is an important nuance there that she almost missed. One that she would like some acknowledgment of. ]

Wait... the feelings you... have?

[jedimindtrick]

[ One question overrides another and he finds his face turning hot with the greater implications. It isn't entirely surprising — he hasn't really been all that obvious with his affections — but he wonders if perhaps her previous declarations had been rote, that perhaps he'd somehow incredibly misread the situation. The fear of rejection, he reminds himself somewhat unkindly. ]

I've never stopped loving you, Satine.

[ Only stopped allowing himself to feel the promise of that love. Qui-Gon had suggested it might have been Obi-Wan's greatest test of character, although he'd always left Kenobi to wonder on whether he'd passed or not.

As he finally takes a seat, leaned forward and perched on the edge of his seat, he makes a small amendment: ] I will never stop loving you. As long as I live.

[ The declaration causes a flutter down in the depths of his stomach and he can't quite decide if this feeling of naked vulnerability is wonderful, terrible, or somehow both. ]

[romanticsoul]

[ Since coming on board the Moira, Satine has been given ample evidence (in Obi's subtle way) that the match for her affection could be found in his heart. What surprised her most now was his willingness to actually give it its proper name, and to speak of it as something not just of the past.

She wonders what has prompted him to speak now, when the prospect of eternal separation had not been able to wring these words from his lips. ]

I didn't think I would ever get to hear you say that.

[ Her voice is soft, full of boundless tenderness, but she does not dare reach for him. He may have declared his emotions at last, but that does not mean he wishes to do anything about them. ]

[jedimindtrick]

[ He nods, unable to do much else at the moment, mostly because he can hardly believe he's said anything at all. Admitting as much, while clearly fuel for the soul, is a broken seal that may never be suitable for repair — Obi-Wan can never go back, he can never rescind that confession (nor would he want to).

Taking in a breath, he ignores the guilt knotting in his stomach and tries to remind himself there's no fine line here, and that blindly accepting the current status doesn't necessarily benefit anyone. ]

Some might argue I waited too long.

[romanticsoul]

I don't care what "some" might think about this at all.

[ When they were young, concerns about what her people might have thought of a Jedi royal consort contributed to the stilling of her tongue in matters of the heart, but that was a long time ago now. ]

What do you think?

[jedimindtrick]

[ What doesn't he think? The way things have been going, Obi-Wan's brain hasn't stopped for a second. He thinks something, he questions it. He thinks something else, he questions that, too. There aren't any new answers, but he feels like he's discovered some old answers to long-buried questions. ]

I... cannot regret the path I've taken — that we've taken. [ They were both needed elsewhere. ] But I've been obliged to question past edicts, and in doing so, provided myself with a greater perspective — a past in sharper relief.

I needed you to know. Regardless of the past or the future — what those moments meant or will mean — I needed to say it.

[romanticsoul]

And... How do you wish to move forward?

[ The truth has at long last been spoken aloud on both their parts, now the question becomes what to do about it. ]

[jedimindtrick]

[ He offers her a strange look, head tipping a bit. It's somewhat unexpected, maybe because of the phrasing. ]

I don't believe that's something that should be left up to me alone, Satine.

[ Which is, perhaps, enough of his preference that she can probably guess what he's thinking. ]

[romanticsoul]

I told you... I think I began to fall in love with you from the moment I laid eyes on you.

[ Something about him had gotten under her skin from the very start, from the first instant when she looked into his eyes and found a stubborn will to match her own. It had made her want to strangle him on many occasions, but not because she didn't care for him. Rather the opposite.

It had been a frustrating thing to accept, that of all people to effortlessly steal her heart, it had to be a jedi. ]

Nothing has changed it. Not time, not distance, not war... not even death. It seems to me as if the only thing truly capable of keeping us apart is ourselves, and I have grown weary of it.

[jedimindtrick]

[ He knows this is an understatement, although he makes no comment on this fact. Instead, he reminds himself that the distance they've always upheld is— was necessary, and that removing that barrier is for much more than rejecting the weariness it produces.

He isn't tired of waiting or wondering — he hasn't allowed himself to think that way. He isn't afraid of the consequences — no one could be a harsher critic than Obi-Wan is to himself. He isn't even worried what others might think — most of his close companions would rejoice.

What his is, however, is mindful that he's seizing an opportunity based on new information, and that alone seems important. ]

There's something more to say, in that case. More the reason, perhaps, that I was hoping to speak with you, as my mind was truthfully made up a long ago.

You know me as well as anyone, and in that, your sage counsel would be appreciated. Do you mind listening a moment longer before we solidify any decisions?

[romanticsoul]

Of course I don't mind.

[ Her hands open and close a few times to relieve the prickling itch in her palms beckoning her to reach for him, but no other outward sign of the veritable storm of emotions brewing inside her is to be seen. ]

[jedimindtrick]

[ He seems to notice, or maybe just takes a personal cue, but soon enough he's moving, taking her hands and closing the distance to sit next to her on his pod bed. ]

I've felt this all along, but I've only recently found reason behind— [ He struggles with wording. ] —behind the benefits of... love. I'm worried that making this decision only now would send the wrong message.

I would never want you to believe this decision could be an afterthought, but I'm afraid it may already be that by circumstance alone.

[ Would this confuse her even more? He hasn't explained everything, not yet, so he hopes she will at least wait to hear his full point before deciding its potential for cruelty in wording alone. ]

[romanticsoul]

It took me years to tell you how I feel, in spite of everything that passed between us, how could I blame you for needing time as well?

[ Her temper sparks easily, perhaps especially around Obi-Wan, but for the moment she is patient, waiting to hear him out. ]

[jedimindtrick]

It isn't time that drove this decision.

[ He intertwines their fingers much like he had in the garden. His head bows a little as he tries to decide how to explain himself. ]

You see, Anakin— He and Pamdè... Well, you know their affection for each other, I'm certain. But when we arrived here, we came to find they have— children. In the future.

[ Obi-Wan smiles a little, unable to help himself. ]

Beautiful, grown children. Undeniable children. It's remarkable, isn't it? Leia and Luke. Maybe you've met them already.

But this made me realize that if I was so willing to allow him to have that — I could not deny him the beauty that is sincere love and all that comes of it — then I should be willing to allow myself to have that also. It's hardly so noble as leaving the Order for you. And I wanted you to know my reasoning for why I've just now come to this conclusion when I could not before.

[romanticsoul]

[ Satine allows herself a momeny to process this new information, and to feel happy for Anakin and Padmé. There is sorrow there as well, for she will never know what it might have been like to have a child. ]

Did you think it would make me cast you aside, to know that you needed to see the result of Anakin's love before you could give in to your own?

[jedimindtrick]

No. [ A soft confession. He squeezes her hand and glances over at her, a little rueful (and a lot smitten). ]

No, I shouldn't think much would make you cast me aside if you haven't already. I only mean to offer you the best of me. [ Now, he tacks on mentally, before it's too late again. ]

[romanticsoul]

In all honesty I think I prefer that you have come to this conclusion on your own. While there is a certain romance to the thought of you leaving the Order behind for my sake... It could easily have turned into a breeding-ground for resentment.

[ Especially since both of them would have had to take tremendous risks to be together. Would she even have been able to take control of Mandalore with a former Jedi as her consort? She would like to think so, but people are fickle, and easily swayed by old resentments. ]

[jedimindtrick]

[ If he'd left, it would have been as much for himself as for Satine, he thinks, but that hardly matters here. ]

I'm very glad to have you in my life. I don't believe I could ever resent that.

[ He lifts her hand, kisses her knuckles as he's accustomed to doing. ]

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to explain myself.

[romanticsoul]

[ She has to laugh at little at his phrasing there. "Explain himself" as if he has done something wrong. ]

By all means, explain your love for as long as you like. I've waited long enough to hear about it.

[ No, not even now can she resist poking fun at him. ]

[jedimindtrick]

[ Despite her teasing, he can't bring himself to feel much more than excitement and wonder and pride in being able to finally tell her what he feels. It's freeing in a way he wouldn't normally experience.

What's left to be said can't be done so with words so he leans in to give her a kiss, pausing just shy of her lips in the most questioning manner. He wouldn't dare taken without asking. ]