thisavrou_log | "Get outta here if you don't know"

Entry tags:

"Get outta here if you don't know"

Who: Peter (

seeingscarlet), and You
When: 15th to early 18th in the medbay, late 18 to the 23rd in the hold
Where: Medbay and the Hold
What: Directly after this. Peter really screwed up and now he's hanging out in the medbay until he recovers. Later he hangs out in the hold. Wanda's around to feild all your questions about how stupid her twin is.
Warnings: Discussion of character death, violence, and severe injuries

[Comment under the toplevel for which sibling you want to talk to. If you want a specific starter, please just oocly contact.]

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[He's woken more times than he can count over the course of the night. Maybe the drugs aren't having the right effect, maybe it's just his natural sleep patterns trying to fight the haze. Either way, in the in-out of consciousness he's had the time to think about what happened.

The first time he couldn't recall why he woke so afraid, why J was the first thing he thought of. The second he couldn't shake the feeling she was hurt, that something was terribly wrong. By the third, he'd asked someone walking around the medbay. By the fourth, he wished he could just stay in the ignorance of sleep. He spends fitful moments awake trying to keep from crying. He doesn't quite manage it.

It was crawling into the morning hours when he realizes he isn't alone. In the space between one short sleep to the next, he's gained a presence at his side. He doesn't need to be psychic, to have her powers, to know who it is.

He doesn't open his eyes, but he reaches a hand out blindly in her direction.]

They called you? [A pause and then with a complication of surety and regret:] You know.

[They did, but they didn't need to. Wanda is staggered by the sheer force of it the minute she steps outside the protection of the telepathic shields on her room and almost immediately panic sets in. Somehow her feet get her to the medbay, but the journey's lost in a fog of fear and burning scarlet and pain.

She sits anxiously at Peter's side, fear only rising the longer it takes for him to wake up. There are probably messages on her MID that would explain the situation, but she couldn't process anything beyond Peter and medbay and hurt before she was out of there.

Wanda takes his hand quickly and gives it a reassuring squeeze.]

Hush, I'm here. You're safe now.

[For a moment he frowns, confusion pulling at the corners of his mind. It takes him what feels like a long time to open his eyes, the medication making it hard to fight the allure of sleep. There's something more important than his safety on his mind, but he's having trouble grasping the thought.

He thinks he may have blacked back out a moment, for when he finally catches sight of her, his hold is limp. He stares at her a moment, feeling a fresh wave of guilt at the look on her face. Hadn't he promised to stop worrying her? Hadn't the entire plan been to make things better for her?

And oh. The plan. The stabbing. J.

Rinzler.

It comes back in pieces, details still fuzzy but one thing clear. Panic starts in his gut. He hadn't taken the kill and undoubtedly the program was furious. He could come after Wanda; after any of them. He tries to move toward her, but even the smallest shift is so painful he feels like he might pass out again. He stills, gasping to the ceiling.]

Rinzler. What did they do with him? He could come after you. That can't happen. I got to- I don't know. I have to stop him.

[She waits, lips pressed into a thin, anxious line. What exactly do they have him on? Have they accounted for his altered metabolism? She'll have to check with the doctors the next time she sees one.

Wanda's not surprised that he's trying to get up immediately; her hands spark scarlet after he tries but (un)fortunately it doesn't look like she'll have to hold him down. It's a sign of how badly he's hurt, she thinks, that he gives up so quickly.]

Rinzler? He did this?

[Her eyes turn red as the energy shifts under her skin again, practically begging her to get up and find the program and let it tear him apart. But Peter is hurt and worried and this time it's simple to shove it back into the recesses of her mind.]

You are not going anywhere. And if I see him he will regret it.

[Might be a good idea to actually read those MID messages, Wanda.]

No.

[She can't go after him. She can't get hurt. He's already messed this up too much, he can't let her be drug into it. J's gone, and the long he stays awake the harder it's becoming to shove away the guilt and anger and sadness that the thought brings. He can't loose Wanda too.]

You can't. He already, J's already- [He squeezes at her hand the best he can, shaking his head against the pillows. He's not sure if he's imagining the red or not, but he doesn't want to risk her leaving his side.]

You can't die too. Not because of this. Not because of something stupid I did. You can't get hurt.

[His voice cracks on his last plea, breath strangling in effort to stay steady. His eyes sting and he shuts them tight.]

Shh, I'm not going anywhere.

[Wanda frowns. Everything Peter's saying is really troubling, and she's not sure whether it's actually the truth or just the painkillers muddling his thoughts. Talking is clearly a struggle, so while she normally gives him mental privacy, maybe it would be kinder to use her powers to spare him the explanation.

Carefully she reaches for his mind, probes past the pain and surface thoughts to filter through his memories of the fight. The exact moment she realizes what's happened is obvious - Wanda's expression falls into one of shock.]

...you did this because of me?

[Why? Why couldn't he trust her enough to tell her what was going on so they could handle it together? Together they are strong. It's when they're separated that everything starts to fall apart. Pietro would still be alive if they'd gone together, she's sure of it.

But Peter didn't tell her, Wanda couldn't help him, and now J's dead and he's badly hurt.]

[He doesn't mind that she's went inside his head. It's easier than having to say it, to explain what he's done. There's something shameful in knowing she's seen his failure up close, but if there's anyone on the ship he could allow that much, it's her.

Even is hard as it might be, at least he thinks there is one person on the ship who won't hate him for this.]

He threatened you.

[It's a weak excuse. He's sees that now. But if she's been in his head she has to know how far he'd be willing to go for her. He just didn't want her to get hurt, to have to worry anymore. After what she's told him of her Pietro, Peter just wanted her to have a chance to be happy again.]

I thought I could keep him from hurting you.

[Of course she knows. After a moment, sadly:] What happened to 'no more hiding things?'

[Hate him? Never. But she can't condone this, either. Peter isn't meant to be a killer, and for him to have almost taken that step for her sake...

It makes her sick. She's supposed to be the terrifying one. If Rinzler had actually attacked her this would be a very different conversation.]

Peter...do you understand why Pietro died?

I’m a hypocrite.

[Because what else is there to say? He wanted Wanda to rely on him without offering the same in return. He thought he’d known better, thought he could save her from any more pain. But he’d caused her misery instead. He’d insisted on being the older brother, like he had some right to take care of everyone else.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even look after himself let alone the family that it was his duty to protect.]

You deserved better.

[He lifts a hand to rub at his eyes, wipe away the tears trying to form. With his other he gestures for her to keep talking, shaking his head shortly. He doesn’t know the whole story, just that her twin has left her alone and died away from her sight.]

[She shushes Peter again and stands to retrieve a tissue for him from the bedside table.]

I know you wanted to protect me. You didn't want me to worry or be afraid.

[One out of three isn't horrible? He did keep her from getting into a fight with Rinzler...so far.]

But Pietro died because I told him to go. If I had been there, nothing would have touched him. We are strongest together. [And maybe this is hard to understand when your alternate universe sibling is so wrong and different from what you knew.

All this power and she can never seem to keep him safe.]

Trust me next time. Please.

[There's a moment, between her standing and her speaking that he thinks she's leaving. It's a stupid thought, an irrational one. Wanda isn't going to leave him alone, not in the middle of a conversation. He knows that, logically. But the time difference makes the small action stretch out from seconds to minutes and his thoughts already run so fast; he can't help the jolt of panic that has his hair standing on end.

He doesn't take the tissue from her, instead wraps his hands around her's. He just needs a moment. Needs to stop letting his guilt mess with his head.]

I do trust you. More than anyone else here.

[Did she really think he didn't? Another of his many failures to arise in this mess.]

She didn't have powers at home. She was strong but not like you are. I had to be the one- [To protect her, them. The only bad guy he was chasing away were the monsters hiding under the little one's bed, his twin's self doubts, his mother drinking a little too much after dinner. But he was the oldest, the man of the house. Looking after them was as much a part of his DNA as his mutation.] I guess I didn't see you don't need me like she did.

[Maybe none of them needed him like they did back home. He was no protector here.]

You couldn't have known about Pietro, Wanda. You can't think that it's your fault. It's not. If he's anything like me, he'd be upset you think that.

[Of course Wanda isn't leaving, and if she had Peter's perception she might have tried to bring the box to her (though she is pretty sure her powers may not be trustworthy right now). But she doesn't, so she has no idea why he feels so afraid.

All she knows is that whatever she's doing isn't working to calm him down.]

I do need you. [Wanda squeezes his hand tightly. He felt what she felt that day. Isn't it obvious?] You know that.

[But not to hide behind, to stand beside. She didn't grow up with that kind of power imbalance between herself and Pietro. Even with other people, she just can't be exclusively the protected. It's not in her wiring.

Wanda doesn't comment on that last bit - asking her not to blame herself for that is like asking water not to be wet. But this isn't about her.]

But you don't need to carry everything by yourself.

[But not in the same way. He doesn't say it out loud, doesn't think he needs to. It's his own fault for trying to stay blind to the differences between the family he left behind and the family he has here. He has to start seeing what's in front of him.]

I know. I kind of make a mess of it when I do it alone. Really made a mess of it here. [Even if he technically had help; Wanda must have seen that in his mind. At least for now he believes Alice was kept out of it. He doesn't particularly trust the doctors here not to report back on anything he says about her.

He looks away after a moment. There's something more pressing than a promise to stop being so stupid, stop working alone.]

I'm sorry. For all of this. I scared you over nothing.

You were afraid. It wasn't nothing.

[She can feel it - it's a sour thing, lots of tiny pinpricks, and that awful feeling like the bottom's dropped off your stomach. And in his place, Wanda would also have been terrified and angry. She can't blame him for wanting to shield her from it - hadn't she tried her hardest to keep Pietro's death a secret as long as she could?

They keep trying to protect each other, but it's not the seamless thing they're used to with their proper twin.]

We'll fix this when you're better. [Somehow. She's still working on that part.]

It is nothing. I didn't solve any of it, I just made it worse!

[Rinzler would surely look for revenge. If there was ever an opportunity for him to go after Wanda, he'd found the reason for it. A few days in the hold wouldn't stop Peter. Why would it stop something built for violence?]

I'm still afraid Wanda.

[It hurts to admit it, even if it's only to her. Maybe because saying it aloud in her presence is like admitting it to himself. All he's done is poked at the proverbial angry bear and dragged innocent people in with him. And even if logic says the threat will be likely detained along with Peter, all he can think about is the days he'll have in a cell. Away from his family. Unable to do anything for them.

And it might not matter if he was out. He's already proven he can't do anything when the chance is handed to him. He may fail to protect them again and the consequence might hit closer to home.

He's beyond just afraid. He feels defeated.]

Can we?

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"Get outta here if you don't know"

closed; Wanda

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