[Closed] Call me Ishmael

[yer_pretty_good]

Who: Ocelot, Big Boss, Venom Snake, Kaz Miller
When: evening Mar 12
Where: Med-bay patient room
What: The team addresses the 'snake' in the room.
Warnings: Metal Gear Solid V end game spoilers. Lots of spoilers. Also possible language and talk of violence



[This was not a conversation they would be able to avoid for long. Both Big Boss and Venom were here on the ship. Although Ocelot had been pulled here a month ago, he did not imagine this would occur. He should've considered it a possibility. On top of that, Venom came from a time before the others, so he wasn't aware of the circumstances of his 'awakening'. Of what was done to him. When it happened in Ocelot's time, Venom embraced his new role and his new life. Would it be the same here? The cowboy wasn't really sure. This place might change everything.

Big Boss asked for a private location for their conversation, so Ocelot secured one of the patient rooms in the medical ward. Thanks to Dr. Eric, there was a wing just for psychiatry, and with only two therapists on board the ship, that left plenty of space for Ocelot to make use of. He sent a text message via the MID to Big Boss, Venom, and Miller to meet him there. At least the room was comfortable. There was a couch and some chairs for sitting. Guess it was kind of fitting to have this conversation here, where people would normally talk about their troubles to someone who would help them work through their troubles.]

Come on in. [He said when each arrived, whether separate or together. There was a bottle of whiskey on hand too, along with some glasses. He thought they might need it.]

Comments

[warandpeace]

[The first time Miller had no idea, not until he'd learned about the "new nation". He had just loyally clung to the idea that he had Big Boss back. But he didn't. This near stranger, a casual acquaintance that he'd been tricked into treating as his best friend, was who he had. And... while he'd made peace, in his way, this time there's another issue. Miller might have been pushing for Ahab to be told as soon as possible, but this time? He knows, too.]

[When he tried to talk to him before, when he was drunk, Miller decided that this time Big Boss needed to be the one to tell the phantom of his true identity. Big Boss may have not initiated the plan, but he did accept it afterwards. This was a man who did the duty that Big Boss hadn't been there for. But that means that Miller never chased Ahab down to tell him on his own. It means after he realized he didn't know, he left him to it. He's been helping lie to a friend this time.]

[When he shows up he comes in without his crutch and wearing the guilt like a lead weight. Rather than directly greeting Ocelot he starts walking around and eyeing objects in the room, occupying himself.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Venom entered the med bay room just as he had been sent the message to gather here. What the hell was going on? He spotted Ocelot in the room and offered him a polite nod and a small smile. Then, he noticed Kaz without his crutch just admiring the objects around the room.

What the hell? Why didn't he have his crutch on him? Was he trying to walk without it? Venom had no clue as to what this meeting was about but something on the faces of those he cared for.....there was something wrong. He could tell. The apprehension could almost be tasted on the air. Snake swallowed before addressing anyone.]

What the hell is going on, Kaz?

[camouflage]

[as always, boss arrives just after the time he's supposed to be there, like he's doing it on purpose. or maybe worry had dogged him the whole way, considering everyone would be there. the last time this had went down, john had specifically sent instructions that ahab listen to his tape alone, so he could process it on his own. he didn't need ahab to have an undue influence, especially since he leaned so strongly on the support of his XO and tactical officer.

now they were about to go through the whole truth ordeal in the exact opposite way. things weren't looking up.

but he takes it in stride and enters the room with a definitive aura.]

Ahab, we have to talk. Sit down.

[yer_pretty_good]

[The situation is a little tense for several reasons. The need to tell Ahab the truth was the major one. Ocelot wasn't sure how the man would react to it all. No matter what, though, Ocelot still considered Ahab the Boss of Mother Base. He would stand by and support Ahab in whatever way necessary.

Then there was whatever tension that still lingered between Big Boss and Miller after their previous 'discussion' about their past. This was a different kind of drama than what Ocelot was used to.

He hangs back quietly, leaning against the table with the drinks on them, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes stayed on Ahab, though, and whenever the man caught his gaze, Ocelot gave him a little, warm smile.]

I'm all about the tags with no dialog today.

[warandpeace]

[Before Ishmael comes in, Miller points down at where the bad prosthetic usually was and wiggles his foot around. The new one is working fine. He just has to get used to it. He doesn't say anything though, just gives him that assurance before their company is ready to talk.]

[Kaz had at least been to Med Bay long since then, repaired the damage from going at Big Boss's face with his fists. A good part of that discussion of his past- he hadn't intended for that to come up. He was just trying to bring up a former comparative incident. Before planting his new knuckles in someone's face he decided to stick his new foot in his mouth, he guessed.]

[But this is what he'd wanted out of it, most of all. He didn't expect it to be comfortable for anyone. Just wanted it to be from responsible parties. And for all that John hadn't asked for this burden, it had been given to him long before he woke up. And he'd accepted it existed.]

[Ahab had become his superior, but at one time he'd been Kaz's man, too. He was obligated to be here, being unfortunately privileged with "the truth".]

Re: Kaz is a thinking kind of guy.

[cardboard_boss]

[Venom saw the new prosthetic and was actually glad that his friend had finally got a replacement foot. It seemed life aboard the Moira benefitted many more than he had previously thought. He offered Kaz a nod and then moved his eyes over to where Big Boss had entered the room. The other Big Boss. His double.

He said nothing and sat down wondering what the hell all this was about. Venom's eyes shifted to where Ocelot was leaning against the table where the drinks stood. The silence was cutting. Why was hardly anyone speaking? What was there to hide? Was it about the ship? Or something else? Venom wondered why all four of them had to be in the room at the same time. Maybe it had to do with Mother Base. Venom prayed that nothing had happened to the men back home or the base. Lots of thoughts swirled around his head, as he looked back to his double clenching his prosthetic slightly in anticipation.

He wanted to speak but didn't even know what he could say right now. So, he listened instead.]

[camouflage]

[good, at least it seemed everyone was on the same page. as soon as ahab took a chair, john went to go sit right across from him. they needed to be face to face as he recounted every little fact. he sighs before he begins, looking a bit dire. better just get right to it.]

I've been lying to you. For a long time. My name isn't Ishmael, it's John. I'm Big Boss, Ahab. The real one. That day in the ambulance, I was pulled out of the wreck by Ocelot, so I could leave before you woke up again. You're my phantom, you were meant to be my double.

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot knows a lot of what's said are things he can fill Ahab in on later if needed, but John is getting the big stuff out of the way. In a sense, even if this is Zero's fault and perhaps one can blame Ocelot for helping the plan come to fruition, this is really about Ahab and Boss. About Ahab's sacrifice and how he put his life on the line for John in that chopper.]

[warandpeace]

[It is about them, really. But it was Miller that pushed Big Boss into telling him here, and it's also a little bit his responsibility for knowing. He steps up to the plate with what little honesty he can offer. And a small amount of defense, considering the anger he's carried about it.]

Zero started this mess. [Like Zero starts a lot of messes.] We weren't meant to find out until last. I don't think they had much choice.

[He backs up to Ocelot's desk to lean against it.]

[He's remaining casual with his movements, but he's not expecting him to take it well. He had seen that broken mirror. He didn't know if it would be followed by the same acceptance. But even with that acceptance, to Miller, they had always felt like two very different people.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Venom stared at his double face to face across the room and swallowed. What was about to come he would take as best he could. But he wasn't expecting the words that came out of the other man's lips. Once John spoke Ahab went very silent. Listening. Just trying to listen and remain calm. Was this some sort of weird joke? His eyes shot to Kaz and then to Ocelot for some sort of explination or half expecting them to burst out laughing. But nothing. They weren't smiling. No one was.

That meant.....this man who looked like him. Was him. He was a fake. Ahab was nothing more than a fucking decoy. Was that all he ever was? Just some weird experiment to be made out to look like this guy? Big Boss. The legendary solider. What was he? Just some guy made out to look like him. Ahab swallowed. His mouth felt like sandpaper and his heart was beating very fast. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. He curled both hands into tight fists until his good hand went white while his prosthetic squeaked with the pressure.

Zero. This man had caused all of this. Why? Dammit....why?]

Has my life been just a fucking joke all this time?

[It was all he could say since he was boiling with emotion; anger, confusion, sadness. Everything.]

[camouflage]

No. [he answers, whip-quick. while it was true that zero had manufactured venom as just a way to keep john safe, for whatever his selfish reasons were, that ultimately he was meant to die so the actual big boss could live, ahab's life had become just as valuable to him as miller's or ocelot's. what better way to cause zero's ego to backfire on him when venom continued to take on everything in his path and persevere?]

You may be my double, Ahab, but the legacy of the Diamond Dogs belongs entirely to you. You've made this story your own. 'Big Boss' is a title that belongs to both of us now.

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot nods, in full agreement with Snake. Diamond Dogs is something Venom built himself, and he should be proud of that.]

You gave your life for Big Boss on that helicopter. You did what any of us, any member of MSF would've done.

[They follow Big Boss because they believe in him and his ideas. At least, most of them do. Ocelot doesn't think Miller belongs to that club anymore.]

And now, you are Big Boss, and the Diamond Dogs follow you because they believe in you, as you believed in him. If you call your life, your loyalty to Big Boss a joke, then you say the same thing about every man who lived or died for MSF and the Diamond Dogs.

[It's no different because they believe in him, Big Boss, too.]

[warandpeace]

[Miller doesn't believe in the ideas anymore. The end goal. Because the end goal results in puppet soldiers, a world controlled by a war economy. The end goal is all of them dead, and any vague idea of the dream he had long ago, lost.]

[But they're not dead yet. Things haven't gone to hell yet. There's still time. And he can't fix it if he closes the door behind him.]

[His gaze shifts from "Ahab" to "Ishmael" and back.]

Those men in that quarantine facility... they died saluting you. Saying the name "Boss". You brought down Sahelanthropus. You carried me out of Afghanistan, through the mist. And you've been a friend. You've helped me stand up when I couldn't do it on my own.

That means something. It's good enough for me.

[Even if, deep down, despite his words, he still feels like he took part in a giant diversion. Everything that he worked for is a lie. He can't blame Ahab for being angry. He deserved that chance to be himself if he wanted to.]

[The damage is probably done.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Ahab did his best to try and stay calm in the room. Why fly off into a rage now? He would do all that later once he left the room. Perhaps, go and something punch in the Rec Room. Something not someone.

Shit. Why? Why did this have to happen to him? He didn't meet anyone's gaze for a few moments and instead just stared down at the floor. Kaz's words rang true and so did Ocelot's. He just needed time right now.]

A drink. Give me a drink.

[camouflage]

Take your time. [john folds his arms across his chest, settling back into his seat to give his counterpart some room to breathe.

ahab was a good man, had always been a good man. he was completely in the right to feel so out of place, so angry, about his situation. when john had found out about it after waking up, he hadn't been happy about it, either. in weaker moments, he had often contemplated freeing venom before he was thrust into a role he had never explicitly asked for.

but he couldn't kill a man who he had once called friend.

venom just needs time to get himself right. accept what is and what was. john can wait until he comes around.]

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot didn't expect this to be easy. He supposes anyone would want a drink after hearing all that, so he pours the whiskey and brings the glass to Venom. It's a good thing he thought to have it available, though he thought they might all need a drink by this point.]

Take it easy, Boss.

[Ahab is still as much his Boss as he ever was.]

[warandpeace]

[Miller watched Ocelot get him a drink, stepping out of the way. He didn't realize he'd gotten nervous of a reaction from Ahab until he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders a little, and he let out a quiet breath that he didn't know he was holding.]

[He came over to him and almost risked patting him on the back. Instead he just dropped his real hand back down to his side.]

If you need time, I'll make sure you get some space to breathe. Until you're ready. [He's pretty sure he could convince Eli and David to give him room if he needed.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Ahab took the drink from Ocelot in silence. He did offer the cowboy a grateful nod before downing the drink in one slamming the glass down onto the table. It didn't break but the force could be heard around the room. He would need time. Boss's words echoed through his mind over and over again. He hoped they wouldn't torment him in his dreams to come.

Venom closed his eyes for one moment before opening them once more to see Kaz standing close to him. He looked up at his close friend just trying to breathe more easy. Before he knew what was happening he clasped out his real hand to grab Kaz's hand, squeezing it, saying nothing. He needs you, Kaz. He needs everyone right now. His friends. Without them he would be wandering in anger, in confusion. Drowning his sorrows with drink to wash away the pain.]

Yeah. Time. I need time.