( OPEN ) what you don't know won't hurt you

[whatdidisay]

Who: Ivan Vorpatril & VARIOUS (including YOU)
When: the month of march (and stuff backdated into feb.)
Where: all around the ship
What: catch all log post and OPEN LOG
Warnings: none!


I. BAR

If his cousin is bartending, and even when he’s not, Ivan can be found at the bar most evenings. Some days just for a quick drink in passing, other nights he’s there until late in various states of inebriation, never crossing the lie into intolerably so. Affable and open, it’s no hardship to start a conversation with him; get near him and he might just start up one himself.

II. ON THE JOB

Ivan’s job is the least demanding on the entire ship, and he likes it like that. There’s days he fills with playing the non-terrifying games on his MID, at least between running around and making sure Navigation and Communications aren’t at odds with each other. Which they don’t ever seem to be, which makes his job that much easier.

Most days he can be found at his desk, slowly working on whatever demands have been made of him to stretch out his workday. The mealtimes that he doesn’t run off to the mess hall for, he takes in Navigation — munching on whatever food they managed to cough up while watching the stars pass them. Either way, it’s quite easy to pull his attention from his job should someone require it.

(( if you want something more specific, please feel free to PM me or PP @ robutts ))

Comments

[heart_breaking]

"The captains had a question about your February report."

The datapad that they dump on the desk in front of him is almost as flat as their voice, and at least as humorless. There's something depressing about going around and delivering conversations about other people's weaknesses; they're not contagious, are they? Chara hopes not. For all of their behavior problems, laziness is not one they're often accused of.

"They also said to remind you you to start using these different forms next time. They changed weeks ago."

[whatdidisay]

Oh shit.

Ivan's feet hit the floor with a thump as he looks at the kid, panic hidden behind his eyes for a split second before he recovers. He made it out of one conversation, he can make it out of this one. "Sure, but all that changed was the header." If the captains wished it, he'd make it happen. Ivan sighs, taking the datapad off of the desk and flipping through it.

"What about my February report?"

[heart_breaking]

Their eyebrows scrunch together, staring hard through the desk. "Um. They say you didn't include anything about what the refugees' plans were after they got dumped planetside." Now back at him, mildly accusatory. "You mentioned that they wouldn't die on arrival, sure, but that's it. You are their Public Relations Officer, right? If the Captains are supposed to trust you with dealing with outside ships, then how are they going to do that without knowing you'll have any idea what you'll say?"

The data pad itself was scrolled very, very slightly down from the top of its screen, as though it had been carelessly returned from a hasty skimming. The document itself has the relevant section highlighted, as well as a Captain's note including Chara's first reported question, but not the rest. Chara doesn't look guilty, or even a little discomfited; considering who it is, this might not mean a thing.

[whatdidisay]

Oh, Ivan notices. And the fact that someone must have read the report in the first place. A lifetime of practice of keeping his head down and out of trouble keeps him from asking Chara if they don't have any respect for someone's privacy. It's not a very important datalog, and Ivan doesn't think the captains would send him one that was, especially not through the small murderous form of Chara.

Who he is trapped in a conversation with. Amazing. Fantastic. How the hell does he get himself out of this one now?

"I think," he says with the same lazy affability, "that if the captains have concerns about what I say, they'll come up with a checklist of acceptable phrases. It seems their style." Or not, considering the captains generally care less about what everyone gets up to unless someone's bothering them.

[heart_breaking]

Chara frowns at him. "They don't have time to do your work for you. This is your job, that's why you have it in the first place." Are the captains really that busy? God knows Chara doesn't actually know what ship-running entails, but this guy doesn't have to know that.

"The ship's 'fantastic work' moving those stupid refugees is something they can use. They need every bit of this crap that they can get, so don't forget to include it."

How does it feel to be lectured by a ten year old that shouldn't even know what the words 'Public Relations Officer' mean, let alone how to criticize someone over it? There's an odd sort of offense radiating out from the child, as though a job not done to their standards is somehow more objectionable than a grisly murder.

[whatdidisay]

Ivan has the distinct impression that telling this kid to leave him the hell alone will go down poorly, and he can't seem to shake them in any easy way that's going to leave him unscathed. "I have it because I got shuffled into it when we all showed up here in the first month," he points out casually. "But if you're interested in it, I'm sure a few quick words to the Personal Officer should free up my position."

You think you can do his job better than he can, Chara? You're welcome to it.

[heart_breaking]

"Oh, no thanks," they say, swinging hard towards placidity. Abort, abort. "That won't be necessary. I wouldn't want to bother anyone, and seriously, it's just one mistake." Their gaze adds a seething 'Man up, you dickhead' on the tail end of all that.

Could they have phrased any of this more nicely? Of course. Did they give a flying crap about how happy this moron would be afterwards? Not one bit. Screw this asshole, screw making everyone happy, and screw this whole damn ship for putting them in this ridiculous situation in the first place. Why should they have to tell anyone how to do this kind of job? They don't even like this place!

[whatdidisay]

Ah. Ivan takes the insult with no identifiable insult -- he's used to similar from Miles, and while he's never been lectured by a ten year old, there's something new every day. It's the same old thing, though, just wrapped up in different words. He waves a hand, dismissing the anger.

"You seem to have a lot of suggestions, I'm sure they wouldn't consider it a bother." He stops right there, however, before Chara thinks that he might be really, truly attempting to pawn it off on them. "One mistake isn't so bad when I've been doing the job for months."

[heart_breaking]

"Wow, that's a great record," they say tonelessly. Has there really only been one mistake? Yeah, right. He probably did a sloppy job and nobody looked enough to care. If he'd been under the former queen of monsters, his work would've been dragged up to proper standards long since. They're sure of it. The queen isn't a captain now, though, and this isn't the Underground. Chara's wheels are spinning for a setup that doesn't exist.

Apparently unaware of some of those points, Chara straightens, pushing and posturing for all they're worth. "You must've worked really hard. I'm sure you won't mind working even harder to make sure this thing's perfect. Right?"

[whatdidisay]

Ivan's willing to hedge bets that his mother is infinitely more terrifying than any former queen of monsters, and he's still a walking disappointment to her. Nothing will change him, it's a survival tactic. Perfection draws attention, and Ivan excels at being mediocre.

So instead he shrugs, propping his head up on his hands on his desk so he can look at Chara with as little effort as possible. "I don't know," he says, vapidly, "it seems to be just fine as-is. If the captains want perfection, I'm sure they'll tell me themselves."

[heart_breaking]

"I told you, they don't have time to go chasing you down..."

Chara's eyes swing towards the ceiling, but there's no sign up there that reads 'How to Convince This Guy That He's Wrong In Three Steps Or Less', so they look down at the data pad. No inspiration there, either. The sense of losing a fight even when they're not engaged in one at all is more than a little discomfiting. Maybe it's his stupidity trying to take root, like some contagious disease.

Maybe they can persuade a Captain to back them up in this. Maybe they should just let this go: despite the number of fights they've picked, they do know what a directionless battle looks like when they see it. Usually they just don't care.

Chara sighs irritably. "Look. I'll go--pass on that you don't want to do anything about this." They meet his eyes for one last, grudging salvo. "If you get in trouble for it, it's not my fault."

lmk if this doesn't work!

[whatdidisay]

Ivan doesn't want to get in trouble, and he raises an eyebrow at Chara -- finally deciding that no, he's not letting a ten year old get him in trouble. "So, you want me to-- what was it? Make sure I talk about future plans, right? So something like--" Ivan pulls up two reports -- both dealing with the two-time refugee crisis. "This? You'll note I submit them for review with the Captains every time, although I guess they just don't like checking it over. So I do know what to say, and they know I know what to say, too."

Anything else, Chara?

[heart_breaking]

Chara blinks: they'd been pushing so hard that to win means backing up to the point they started. They're also reevaluating the existence of two reports that they hadn't known about, since no one had seen a need for them to pass through Chara's hands.

"That's good." Look confident. (They are confident.) "Just--put it in a note, or something. It doesn't have to be much."

[whatdidisay]

"I'll take it under advisement." He won't, but he grins vapidly at them anyway. "Anything else?"

Please let there be nothing else so he can get out of this. Please.

[heart_breaking]

"No." Something gnaws faintly at Chara's attention about the grin, but they can't place it, and it gets set to one side. Chara's come out the better in this (they think), and right now they're too wary of disturbing this fact to want to dig deeply.

"That should be everything. Just--send it on like normal when you're done.

[whatdidisay]

It's hard to say it's a facade when he's made such an effort to be exactly who he is. Ivan's content with the way this is shaping up -- another interaction with the murder child and he's made it out alive and and unharmed.

"Sure. I can do that," kid.

[heart_breaking]

"Good." They step back, uncomfortable. There's nothing left for them to harass him over, now, and without an argument they're actually quite adrift.

"Just don't leave it till the end of the month," they mumble. It occurs to them that a good boss wouldn't have said that, but Chara's not trying to be good or a boss, so why does it matter? They nod one last time and take an awkward step, then turn, and all of it combines into their ungraceful retreat.

They leave without saying goodbye.