[And in that moment when Magnus actually picks him up, Tailgate realizes that he's made a terrible mistake. Oh, so he really is actually there, that complicates life a lot.]

You're real.

[Well frigfrag.]

I didn't expect you to come back! Why are you so big?

[He's completely unable to contain his own delight, and he jumps out of Ultra Magnus' hand to give Magnus a big ol' hug on the face.]

Things are a lot more fun when you're not around, but I missed you anyway! I'm glad you're here! You're not planning on leaving this time, are you? I never got to show you how to do laundry!

[The Decepticon badge? What badge? He's half-hoping that this heartfelt reunion will distract Magnus long enough for him to get away with explaining it.]