Deacon? You don't look like a priest.

[ Unless it's a title? A rank? ...A pun? ]

I'm...the sort to try to encourage people not to act like assholes, I think. Or I'm the one forced to 'take one for the team'. Not a great spot to be in.

[ And she's pretty sick and tired of being in that position, frankly. ]

You're, what, the jokester? The sarcastic wit? Or the one with enough brains not to try anything dumb?