[CLOSED : SIDEQUEST CITY.]

[vaikartana]

Who: Karna (vaikartana) and co.
When: Jan. 10 and onward!
Where: Allcoran.
What: Sidequest hell.
Warnings: No warnings necessary so far— will edit if they become relevant!

Comments

LAVELLAN.

[vaikartana]

[ The details are a little fuzzy— the last thing Karna really remembers is being jostled around a crowd of well-intentioned locals, fielding conversations that eventually become one-note due to the Allcorans' penchant for cycling back to their original point, and then...

...well. A quiet request, which Karna obliged without much in the way of hesitation, Hero of Charity that he is.

The request is simple: his quest, should he choose to accept, is to "make the local grump laugh using any means possible". Unfortunately, Karna is the spiritual equivalent of a wet blanket, and his joke repertoire is pathetically small; after 15 minutes of attempting unfortunate renditions of knock-knock jokes that he collected from the locals, Karna decides to use a lifeline. 'Call A Friend.'

Aka 'bump into the closest person he can find and rope them into this sidequest unintentionally'. Sorry Lavellan, that's just the way this cookie is going to crumble. ]

...Sorry. I need a moment of your time. [ He sounds so... serious about this. Brows drawn and hand at his chin, this is the way Karna starts this conversation: ] Are you funny?

[ what the fuck ]

[lavelly]

[Lavellan is only here to look around. In fact, he decides the place is too bizarre for him and he doesn't like it, so he's just about to head back to the station and hunker down for the duration when Karna bumps into him.

That, and the suddenness of the question, manages to stun him speechless for half a second.]

Funny?

[Well, he likes to think so.]

I've been told I have some cheek.

[vaikartana]

[ Conversation is an art that Karna is still perfecting; he wonders if he's said something out of line during the few seconds that Lavellan stays silent, and tips his head carefully to gauge the level of his new companion's reaction.

When it seems like the coast is clear, he lowers his shoulders in mild relief. ]

I see... I see. [ 'Some cheek'!! That's heartening. ] Normally, I wouldn't ask this of someone I've just met. You'll have to overlook my selfishness this time around.

—Will you teach me 'a joke'?

SIEGFRIED.

[vaikartana]

[ Here's a working title for Siegfried and Karna's biopic: When the Hero of Charity and a Hero Willing to Relinquish his Heart for a Half-human Unite.

Karna's mistake, this time around, wasn't in accepting the quest that was given to him. Rather, it was the fact that he ran into Siegfried and explained the terms of his 'contract' to the other Servant and bound them both in this neverending game of fetch— first, to retrieve pelts from a forest. Then, to exchange the pelts for food. Then, to take the food to a residence on the other side of town. Then, to help the residents there bake a pie. And now—

—here's Karna, poised under the tallest tree in the village, looking up into the foliage to spot a small tabby cat shivering on one of the lower branches. Tragic. ]

...I suppose you'll have to hoist me up.

[ Simply, and without embellishment. Karna turns to Siegfried and levels him with his straightforwardness, leaving a beat of silence between his first statement and his followup. ]

—Though, if that disagrees with you, I can offer the same. [ Does Sieg want to be lifted by this limp noodle? He can, you know. ]

[gerechtigkeit]

[Truthfully, he hadn't minded helping Karna in assisting others. Some of the requests are odd, though- who wants two odd-looking heroes to help them bake a pie? That was... unusual, but he hadn't said no.

Now, they've been asked to save the resident's daughter's adventurous cat. Sure enough, the poor thing is meowing like crazy on one of the lower branches, and still out of reach. Siegfried looks down to Karna and frowns, thinking. He has a point.]

I can lift you. [He smiles, though.] I don't think the cat would appreciate me coming to get it as much as you. [Is that a shot at his own cat back home? Maybe.]

Did they say to simply bring the cat back to the house after?

[He has no idea... This is the worst, please love yourselves, boys. You're in an endless fetch quest HELL.]

[vaikartana]

[ Despite the self-deprecating claim about his cat, Karna is of the opinion that animals would take more kindly to the sturdy, warm compassion that Seigfried radiates... but that's neither here nor there. If his fellow Servant has a preference, Karna can oblige without question.

He takes care to shed some of his more obstructive pieces of armor in preparation for the journey up, though. He steps out of his golden sandals, because lord knows he doesn't want to accidentally skewer Siegfried in the eye with them. ]

I believe so. ...Though it may not prove to be cooperative.

[ The cat, upon making eye contact with Karna, hisses. ]

Saber. If the animal in question starts to escape— [ This is where dramatic music would kick in. ] —Don't hesitate to drop me. The mission is more important.

[ oh my goD ]

[lavelly]

[What's with this guy? He's never encountered so serious they doesn't even know a single joke in his whole life, and he spent three years regularly interacting with Cullen Rutherford.]

Ah... [And now he's on the spot, so he ends up blurting out the first one that comes to mind.]

A human and an elf walk into a bar. The dwarf with them says, "Should have thought to duck!" [Rimshot.]