It's a strange feeling to have to world shift suddenly out from under your feet. Lara has felt it so many times before that she looks down when it happens again, tensing for the life or death jump. The floor of the Moira stays where it was. She looks up. The bloody smear that had been the strange child she met... What days? Hours? That was still there. So was-
"Sans." Her voice sounds strange in her throat, raw and hurt, and she doesn't know what she's doing til she's moving. Reaching for- something, she doesn't see what, but it whizzes through the air. The arch is wide and the gardening trowel clangs off a rack of sprigs near Sans' head.
"Sans." Her voice sounds strange in her throat, raw and hurt, and she doesn't know what she's doing til she's moving. Reaching for- something, she doesn't see what, but it whizzes through the air. The arch is wide and the gardening trowel clangs off a rack of sprigs near Sans' head.
The casual tone of his voice makes her want to scream. She nearly does, but it gets tangled up in her lungs with a sob. The noise that comes out is a strangled sob. There's blood everywhere, and of course she's seen plenty of it, but never from a body so small.
Her hand lands on something else and she throws it without thinking. Her aim improves with the cold focus that seemed to settle over her. She knows this, she knows blood and death, but this is wrong.
Her hand lands on something else and she throws it without thinking. Her aim improves with the cold focus that seemed to settle over her. She knows this, she knows blood and death, but this is wrong.
"Explain." The word comes out gritted and sharp, distantly Lara marvels that she's able to speak at all. "Explain what. Sans, you killed-" But hasn't she, isn't she so much worse, does she even have a right to this anger. "You killed a child."
She would throw something, except her hands are curling into fists, short nails pressing in her palm.
"Stop laughing." This comes out as a hiss. She had heard him laughing, just before, it's what made her go into the garden to begin with. Now the sound of it makes her feel sick. "Just shut up."
"Stop laughing." This comes out as a hiss. She had heard him laughing, just before, it's what made her go into the garden to begin with. Now the sound of it makes her feel sick. "Just shut up."
The problem is there's plenty of fight left in her, but... This isn't one that she wants to fight, that she could stand to. She can hardly take being in this room, but just leaving seems even more wrong.
She turns sharply, stalking through the garden, then turning and tracing her path back. She needs to call someone, probably, but god who.
"I'm calling Miles," she says before the idea even has the chance to take firm root.
She turns sharply, stalking through the garden, then turning and tracing her path back. She needs to call someone, probably, but god who.
"I'm calling Miles," she says before the idea even has the chance to take firm root.
She turns at the sound of his voice, drawing herself up in a show of silent rage her titled ancestors would have been pleased by. The thought doesn't occur to her, only the wild desire to lash out.
"Would you prefer I call one of the captains."
"Would you prefer I call one of the captains."
It's a terrible joke. He's told her so many by now, sent her even more, that her first impulse is to laugh. It gets tangled up in her anger, lodging like broken glass in her lungs.
She can't speak for a moment, the seconds spiraling out into a solid minute, as she stares at him. She wants to scream and cry and demand that he make things right, that he stop this. It would be childish. And there aren't any children left in this room.
"Just be quiet." Her voice is soft and dead. She'd think it a mercy she hasn't started crying, but she can't think past the cold spreading through her. She turns her back on him, half wildly hoping to feel the magic bones slamming into her, even knowing he would never, and calls Miles.
She can't speak for a moment, the seconds spiraling out into a solid minute, as she stares at him. She wants to scream and cry and demand that he make things right, that he stop this. It would be childish. And there aren't any children left in this room.
"Just be quiet." Her voice is soft and dead. She'd think it a mercy she hasn't started crying, but she can't think past the cold spreading through her. She turns her back on him, half wildly hoping to feel the magic bones slamming into her, even knowing he would never, and calls Miles.
She looks at him, helpless and hurt. It's not far from the look she gave him when they first met, though she at least is more coherent. Barely a month ago and why had she come to care so much about him.
She doesn't know if she can bring herself to regret it, even as it hurts.
"Tell me how." Her voice is quiet, her reactionary anger subdued for now, leaving her numb.
She doesn't know if she can bring herself to regret it, even as it hurts.
"Tell me how." Her voice is quiet, her reactionary anger subdued for now, leaving her numb.
She nearly hadn't. Even hearing him talk now was nearly too much. She wanted to cover her ears, but she stays still and listens, attentive as ever.
"That doesn't make sense," she tells him, frowning, and that's almost an emotion, "What do you mean?"
"That doesn't make sense," she tells him, frowning, and that's almost an emotion, "What do you mean?"
It does sound crazy. It sounds like something she might have stumbled on in Matthias' logs and the comparison is enough to send a new wave of pain shooting through her. She wishes even a fraction of it where physical, that, at least, she knows.
"I don't know how this works in your world," she begins, slowly, "I can't even argue that it's not how it works in mine..." Not her expertise, but also not the point. She gestures to the body on the ground. "Things like this don't just go away, Sans. Memories like this don't just go away."
She knows that, straight down to the marrow, has seen that. Every time she goes to sleep. Every time she closes her eyes.
"I don't know how this works in your world," she begins, slowly, "I can't even argue that it's not how it works in mine..." Not her expertise, but also not the point. She gestures to the body on the ground. "Things like this don't just go away, Sans. Memories like this don't just go away."
She knows that, straight down to the marrow, has seen that. Every time she goes to sleep. Every time she closes her eyes.
It's so terribly obvious how tired he is and she nearly softens just at that. The comparison sends ice running through her. Sans is... They had clicked together, so fast and effortlessly, like Sam had sent him to keep an eye on her while they were apart. It was easy to forget that he didn't know. He has only a vague idea of what she's done.
"What did they do, Sans." She thinks she knows, or at least has an idea, what might push someone like Sans to kill.
"What did they do, Sans." She thinks she knows, or at least has an idea, what might push someone like Sans to kill.
She doesn't know what to say to that. Doesn't know what to feel. Cold. Like the floor's gone out from under her. She looks down again, reflectively. She wants... She doesn't know what she wants.
She lets the tension go out of her legs, sliding down to the floor and stares at the body and the puddle of blood and thinks about Yamatai. Smoke and snow and bullets tearing through flesh, the solid impact of a fist against her face and the screams of men as she fought and killed. Thinks about the dying man, trapped under rubble, begging for death. The jump of the shotgun had felt like redemption and damnation in the same breath.
That she doesn't hurt now, that she isn't bleeding, feels strangely out of place and wrong.
She lets the tension go out of her legs, sliding down to the floor and stares at the body and the puddle of blood and thinks about Yamatai. Smoke and snow and bullets tearing through flesh, the solid impact of a fist against her face and the screams of men as she fought and killed. Thinks about the dying man, trapped under rubble, begging for death. The jump of the shotgun had felt like redemption and damnation in the same breath.
That she doesn't hurt now, that she isn't bleeding, feels strangely out of place and wrong.

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