西園弖虎 | nishizono "anarchist antichrist" tetora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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thisavrou_log2017-09-03 07:32 pm
nishizono) wrote in thisavrou_log2017-09-03 07:32 pm
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[ There's a palpable moment of utter panic when Miller reaches over to pat his head - he hadn't been counting on him actually doing it. The action comes and goes and nothing terrible happens, however; he remains intact, Miller doesn't get an aneurysm, nothing jumps from his body to the older man's. He looses a single, shaky breath, counting it as— well it's not a win. It's a dampening of his given skillset. But no one is dying that isn't supposed to be, so it's something. ]
I'm not hungry anyway. [ Tetora ends up staring at the dinosaur, as balefully as one pleases. ] That's not a dog.
I'm not hungry anyway. [ Tetora ends up staring at the dinosaur, as balefully as one pleases. ] That's not a dog.
Edited 2017-09-03 11:48 (UTC)
[ There's a small part of him that's apprehensive in meeting up with Snake - now Venom Snake, no longer Mister Stranger Danger, and the change in name in Tetora's mental directory doesn't go unnoticed - for reasons that have everything to do with their recent interactions happening over a made-up digital space. It's been a while. It's not anything he's missed, or is keen to get back to.
The whole thing leaves a bitter, oily taste in his mouth that he can't swallow around.
He doesn't tell anyone else this: he dry-heaved for the better part of a half-hour, when the realization came around to kick him square on the guts. It's complacency mixing in with that most dangerous thing in existence: affection.
Disgusting. All of it. ]
i'm here [ he shoots off as he perches at the ledge of the hotel building, peering from the rooftop down to the sheer drop below. He's even swinging his legs.
He remembers looking down from a taller height than this. Remembers a simpler, emptier time. (His first recorded kill was a girl not much older than he was meant to look. She crumpled like a sack of potatoes - noisy, annoying, wasteful. Old man Isono was right there waiting to debrief him.) ]
The whole thing leaves a bitter, oily taste in his mouth that he can't swallow around.
He doesn't tell anyone else this: he dry-heaved for the better part of a half-hour, when the realization came around to kick him square on the guts. It's complacency mixing in with that most dangerous thing in existence: affection.
Disgusting. All of it. ]
i'm here [ he shoots off as he perches at the ledge of the hotel building, peering from the rooftop down to the sheer drop below. He's even swinging his legs.
He remembers looking down from a taller height than this. Remembers a simpler, emptier time. (His first recorded kill was a girl not much older than he was meant to look. She crumpled like a sack of potatoes - noisy, annoying, wasteful. Old man Isono was right there waiting to debrief him.) ]
I know. It's a dinosaur. There are eggs in the tunnels if you want one.
I didn't know it was a dinosaur, either. Someone had to tell me.
Yes, it is confusing and I am very sorry about it. [When he was with Venom Snake earlier, he saw his ghosts, felt the scents in his memories. As the Savrii cut into him, Kaz made the attempt to talk him through it. But he knows that solution is temporary. For all of them, including this boy.]
I'm planning to get the hell out of here.
You willing to help? [He uses his new crutch to hobble over to the dinosaur, and seeing that it doesn't intend to leave the window, just closes the curtains around it.]
I didn't know it was a dinosaur, either. Someone had to tell me.
Yes, it is confusing and I am very sorry about it. [When he was with Venom Snake earlier, he saw his ghosts, felt the scents in his memories. As the Savrii cut into him, Kaz made the attempt to talk him through it. But he knows that solution is temporary. For all of them, including this boy.]
I'm planning to get the hell out of here.
You willing to help? [He uses his new crutch to hobble over to the dinosaur, and seeing that it doesn't intend to leave the window, just closes the curtains around it.]
[ Without anything to do, Venom's mind drifts: he spends a good portion of his time sequestered in odd parts of the prison compound they've found themselves in (because let's be real, that's what this is), away from the frenetic hum of other people's dreams and emotions. They're too much to categorize in the already-fragmented tapestry of his mind, and he has too much space between the cracks of his psyche if he isn't careful.
The roof is a good place to meet. Quiet. There's something comforting about how precarious it is to be up here, overlooking the abandoned husk of someone else's ambitions.
It almost feels like home.
Venom heralds his appearance with a clang of metal on metal, letting the momentum of a door swinging shut announce him where his silent footsteps don't. The wiry, compact outline that comprises the whole of Tetora Nishizono is a familiar twinge of empathy in his gut; there's something about the kid that digs right into the parts of Venom that are ostensibly still human. Is it his loneliness? The fact that he has so little to lose? His lack of apology mixed with his fast-burning contempt?
Whatever it is, it pulls Venom together. As much of a mess as he is (the hallucinations have been constant, unforgiving), Venom approaches Tetora with all the conviction of a man who's determined to feed a particularly stubborn stray cat.
Sorry about it. ]
Careful. [ This isn't Titanic, let's not reenact the 'flying' scene. ]
The roof is a good place to meet. Quiet. There's something comforting about how precarious it is to be up here, overlooking the abandoned husk of someone else's ambitions.
It almost feels like home.
Venom heralds his appearance with a clang of metal on metal, letting the momentum of a door swinging shut announce him where his silent footsteps don't. The wiry, compact outline that comprises the whole of Tetora Nishizono is a familiar twinge of empathy in his gut; there's something about the kid that digs right into the parts of Venom that are ostensibly still human. Is it his loneliness? The fact that he has so little to lose? His lack of apology mixed with his fast-burning contempt?
Whatever it is, it pulls Venom together. As much of a mess as he is (the hallucinations have been constant, unforgiving), Venom approaches Tetora with all the conviction of a man who's determined to feed a particularly stubborn stray cat.
Sorry about it. ]
Careful. [ This isn't Titanic, let's not reenact the 'flying' scene. ]
[ Cats, above all else, domesticated themselves. With stray cats, and with feral ones - whatever affections they've laid bare to their human companions are shown by choice. The parallels are verge on the painfully cliche, to be sure, but they're fitting enough. Tetora cracks his jaw, grinds left and right and back again before tipping himself back on the rooftop floor to look at Snake upside down.
The older man looks no different than he did in the dream. Cleaner, maybe, and a little more weary-looking around the eye if Tetora had to judge by the wrinkles, but generally the same. Still with that dumb horn.
Still with that eyepatch, and that backstory Tetora's itching to find out about. Tetora squints against the light, at the halo ringing Snake's head from where he's laid out, and with a loosely-formed finger-gun takes aim. Fires.
Bang. ]
I just shot you. [ He wants to, sometimes. Just take a gun out and aim at every nice person he's come across, because if this is what normal life is like, it's really fucking disorienting. It's so easy to let paranoia set in when people like smiling back. ] What happened to the bondage gear?
The older man looks no different than he did in the dream. Cleaner, maybe, and a little more weary-looking around the eye if Tetora had to judge by the wrinkles, but generally the same. Still with that dumb horn.
Still with that eyepatch, and that backstory Tetora's itching to find out about. Tetora squints against the light, at the halo ringing Snake's head from where he's laid out, and with a loosely-formed finger-gun takes aim. Fires.
Bang. ]
I just shot you. [ He wants to, sometimes. Just take a gun out and aim at every nice person he's come across, because if this is what normal life is like, it's really fucking disorienting. It's so easy to let paranoia set in when people like smiling back. ] What happened to the bondage gear?
You're telling me, [ he starts, completely distrustful of the thing by the window, ] that you found eggs and instead of, I don't know, smashing them to pieces for food you hatched one instead.
[ And here he was almost convinced that Miller was a rational person. No. His madness manifests in wanting to take care of every deadly creature he comes across, it turns out. (It explains some things, in Tetora's mind, about why he's allowed to stick around. It's assuring.)
Tetora takes the long way around the room to sit on the bed - before recalling the accusations he leveled Venom Snake's way and hisses, moving to the bedside table instead. Apologies to whatever baubles are left on it; he's knocking them all to the floor with his ass. ]
You're crazy. Who are we killing? Or blowing up?
[ And here he was almost convinced that Miller was a rational person. No. His madness manifests in wanting to take care of every deadly creature he comes across, it turns out. (It explains some things, in Tetora's mind, about why he's allowed to stick around. It's assuring.)
Tetora takes the long way around the room to sit on the bed - before recalling the accusations he leveled Venom Snake's way and hisses, moving to the bedside table instead. Apologies to whatever baubles are left on it; he's knocking them all to the floor with his ass. ]
You're crazy. Who are we killing? Or blowing up?
[ Bullseye. Even when Tetora's playing, he aims right between the brows. ]
Confiscated.
[ Says the dead man with an imaginary bullet in his skull. Here's Venom, playing a modified version of rock-paper-scissors with someone decades his junior: Tetora offers 'gun', and Venom offers 'paper' to pull Tetora up by the wrist if he'll let him. ]
Took my music, too. [ The bigger tragedy. ] Anything missing on your end?
Confiscated.
[ Says the dead man with an imaginary bullet in his skull. Here's Venom, playing a modified version of rock-paper-scissors with someone decades his junior: Tetora offers 'gun', and Venom offers 'paper' to pull Tetora up by the wrist if he'll let him. ]
Took my music, too. [ The bigger tragedy. ] Anything missing on your end?
[ He hesitates just long enough for the proffered hand to hang in the air awkwardly, what with the surprise from Miller's earlier skin-to-skin contact still buzzing noisily under his skin. Touching is a big no-no, especially after the integration; it wasn't a problem before when he was as imperfect as the rest of them, but the better he got, the more fine-tuned his skills became. Touch-based hijacking became a reflex instead of just a parlour trick.
Tetora flicks his sleeve up to cover most of his palm - there's no real discreet way to do it, fuck it - and grips on Snake's own clothed wrist too. All the while he's thinking, at least I didn't merge with Miwa.
They didn't bridge that gap; couldn't, not really, not when he recoiled from her and she wanted nothing to do with him if she could help it. (Being able to tell people to kill themselves with just one's voice, even through recordings, is the kind of useful he doesn't trust himself with.) ]
Just my stabilizers, nothing to worry about. [ The slightly pinched frown he's making is more expressive than he'd like, but he's been too on edge since waking up that he's starting not to care. ] I won't die, I'll just be a pliant vegetable.
[ It's bound to come up sooner than later. Might as well bring it up now. ]
They're giving all our shit back, right? They have to, what with the whole benevolent bullshit and all.
Tetora flicks his sleeve up to cover most of his palm - there's no real discreet way to do it, fuck it - and grips on Snake's own clothed wrist too. All the while he's thinking, at least I didn't merge with Miwa.
They didn't bridge that gap; couldn't, not really, not when he recoiled from her and she wanted nothing to do with him if she could help it. (Being able to tell people to kill themselves with just one's voice, even through recordings, is the kind of useful he doesn't trust himself with.) ]
Just my stabilizers, nothing to worry about. [ The slightly pinched frown he's making is more expressive than he'd like, but he's been too on edge since waking up that he's starting not to care. ] I won't die, I'll just be a pliant vegetable.
[ It's bound to come up sooner than later. Might as well bring it up now. ]
They're giving all our shit back, right? They have to, what with the whole benevolent bullshit and all.
[ Right— the aversion to tactility. Venom has a good few seconds to reflect on Tetora's circumstances before he's pulling the kid up by his covered forearm, feet braced on cracked concrete for the one-sided seesaw.
Memory lineup: let's play the recall game. It heartens Venom to know that he can still remember a conversation he'd had with Tetora in text before, that he can pull up Tetora's genuine concern when he'd posed the idea of possession. All things considered (his strained relationship with the past and present comes to mind), the ability to conjure relevant information at the relevant time is a small victory.
He opens his mouth to comment on the absolutely relevant concern of becoming a pliant vegetable, but Tetora's moving right along.
He sighs. ]
...Not sure. This isn't exactly what you'd call benevolent. [ Literally no part of being sequestered like a plague infestation is benevolent, but that speaks for itself. He lets go, takes a step back to give the both of them some thinking room. ] Might want to devise a way to get your stabilizers back.
Memory lineup: let's play the recall game. It heartens Venom to know that he can still remember a conversation he'd had with Tetora in text before, that he can pull up Tetora's genuine concern when he'd posed the idea of possession. All things considered (his strained relationship with the past and present comes to mind), the ability to conjure relevant information at the relevant time is a small victory.
He opens his mouth to comment on the absolutely relevant concern of becoming a pliant vegetable, but Tetora's moving right along.
He sighs. ]
...Not sure. This isn't exactly what you'd call benevolent. [ Literally no part of being sequestered like a plague infestation is benevolent, but that speaks for itself. He lets go, takes a step back to give the both of them some thinking room. ] Might want to devise a way to get your stabilizers back.
More like a "what".
I'm helping gather the materials for devices. One to open the force-field. One for a low-distance EMP. And he- [he nods towards the animal staring outside] -is being trained to drop the bomb and return. [He doesn't want to hurt it.]
For now the Savrii are supplying us with food. Claiming that they're generous. But we can't count on this lasting so we might as well keep them alive for as long as possible. And if they keep feeding us, then we can train them. They're intelligent enough to hang onto things, about the same as a dog.
[He blinks at the sudden movement though. Was there a tack on the sheets?] Are you alright?
I'm helping gather the materials for devices. One to open the force-field. One for a low-distance EMP. And he- [he nods towards the animal staring outside] -is being trained to drop the bomb and return. [He doesn't want to hurt it.]
For now the Savrii are supplying us with food. Claiming that they're generous. But we can't count on this lasting so we might as well keep them alive for as long as possible. And if they keep feeding us, then we can train them. They're intelligent enough to hang onto things, about the same as a dog.
[He blinks at the sudden movement though. Was there a tack on the sheets?] Are you alright?
We're not dead yet. That's benevolent enough.
[ Snake's knees are surprisingly interesting right now.
It's a bit of artifice and a bit of sincerity when Tetora scrunches his face up into a frown, much like a child might when tasting something bitter. Being caged in - albeit in a very large cage - has never been an ideal place to be, but Tetora can't say he's not used to it. He never holds on to the illusion of freedom for very long; Machi is always watching, just as Mimegumi was, and Onihigata before her. There's always a leash, invisible but ever-present, and Tetora's gotten pretty good at knowing where it goes slack, where it gets tight.
This place with its stupid name though - Tetora doesn't understand it. Doesn't understand the people in it, local and otherwise. The false memories of Snake's gloved hand on his own, Miller's comforting presence watching over him as he works, Badou's morning yelling when his cigarettes are missing — everything is confusing in its mundanity.
He starts with basic stretching instead, for want of anything relevant to contribute to the conversation. ]
I'll try asking nicely. If that doesn't work, just don't be surprised if I don't recognize you.
Ready?
[ Snake's knees are surprisingly interesting right now.
It's a bit of artifice and a bit of sincerity when Tetora scrunches his face up into a frown, much like a child might when tasting something bitter. Being caged in - albeit in a very large cage - has never been an ideal place to be, but Tetora can't say he's not used to it. He never holds on to the illusion of freedom for very long; Machi is always watching, just as Mimegumi was, and Onihigata before her. There's always a leash, invisible but ever-present, and Tetora's gotten pretty good at knowing where it goes slack, where it gets tight.
This place with its stupid name though - Tetora doesn't understand it. Doesn't understand the people in it, local and otherwise. The false memories of Snake's gloved hand on his own, Miller's comforting presence watching over him as he works, Badou's morning yelling when his cigarettes are missing — everything is confusing in its mundanity.
He starts with basic stretching instead, for want of anything relevant to contribute to the conversation. ]
I'll try asking nicely. If that doesn't work, just don't be surprised if I don't recognize you.
Ready?
[ Oh no. Bombs. Tetora gives what is probably the biggest, most wide-eyed grin he's ever shown during his stay here. ]
Fuck me, yes. [ He's been waiting for something this for longer than he'd want to admit. ] So you want to play the long game for the next few weeks? Who else is on board? Building a bomb under surveillance is easy enough if you have enough people causing distractions, but you can't make it too big of a show or they'll figure it out sooner than later. You care about people getting hurt too, right? You have to test your bombs at least once. EMPs shouldn't be too hard with all the tech they leave lying around, but you have to figure out who else on your side is vulnerable to it too, or you could lose your manpower from having some idiot standing too close to the blast point.
[ This is his element. Well, mostly. It's not a maximum-casualty situation, but he'll take it. ]
I'd suggest using some of the more useless guys around to test things out but they could die and you'd feel guilty about it, I bet.
And I'm fine. Just... the bed. [ Ew. ] You probably had sex on it.
Fuck me, yes. [ He's been waiting for something this for longer than he'd want to admit. ] So you want to play the long game for the next few weeks? Who else is on board? Building a bomb under surveillance is easy enough if you have enough people causing distractions, but you can't make it too big of a show or they'll figure it out sooner than later. You care about people getting hurt too, right? You have to test your bombs at least once. EMPs shouldn't be too hard with all the tech they leave lying around, but you have to figure out who else on your side is vulnerable to it too, or you could lose your manpower from having some idiot standing too close to the blast point.
[ This is his element. Well, mostly. It's not a maximum-casualty situation, but he'll take it. ]
I'd suggest using some of the more useless guys around to test things out but they could die and you'd feel guilty about it, I bet.
And I'm fine. Just... the bed. [ Ew. ] You probably had sex on it.
[What?]
What?
[Somehow that is the funniest thing he's heard since being brought here.] Yeah. We had marathon sex about thirty minutes ago. Since you sat there it's too late. You'll be wanting men in a carnal fashion in no time.
[Then, with actual seriousness.] Believe me, we've not been in the mood.
They removed most of the useful technology, but- [He is reluctant to do so, but he pulls up the trouser leg on his left side, showing where his prosthetic ends. The generator that was embedded in it is missing, leaving a curved metal cap over his stump, cutting short his leg at the top of his calf.] -I gave this to a woman who might be able to construct a device strong enough to make at least a small hole in the forcefield. I plan on bringing her other supplies, too. Her name is Mei Ling-Zhou.
You could probably pool resources. Make as much as possible. They really cleaned out the place.
What?
[Somehow that is the funniest thing he's heard since being brought here.] Yeah. We had marathon sex about thirty minutes ago. Since you sat there it's too late. You'll be wanting men in a carnal fashion in no time.
[Then, with actual seriousness.] Believe me, we've not been in the mood.
They removed most of the useful technology, but- [He is reluctant to do so, but he pulls up the trouser leg on his left side, showing where his prosthetic ends. The generator that was embedded in it is missing, leaving a curved metal cap over his stump, cutting short his leg at the top of his calf.] -I gave this to a woman who might be able to construct a device strong enough to make at least a small hole in the forcefield. I plan on bringing her other supplies, too. Her name is Mei Ling-Zhou.
You could probably pool resources. Make as much as possible. They really cleaned out the place.
[ Bile rises at the back of his mouth, unwanted and wholly unwelcome. Tetora had dragged himself into the sex joke, and he'd been prepared for that, but the other half of it -- looks like he has more issues to face than he initially thought. ]
They didn't nail every single thing down.
[ What he means is, if something can be removed, it can be reformed into something else. Blessed be the minds of the disgusting perverts and murderers who have had their time in the sun before Shinji or the other clones had hacked them to pieces in familiar ways. Elegance in murder might as well have been the tag line for the older generations; from brain flowers to cannibal dishes to split-level body mosaics, they'd tried it at least once. It's a gruesome, unrelenting kind of creativity, and worse is the man that nurtured that particular instinct in them all. ]
I could try to talk to her? Coordinate and shit. Put a call out to the general public, I guess. People like to help, for whatever godforsaken reason.
[ If he was in total ease over talk about bombing a general populace, the next subject is very clearly uncomfortable. ]
What's it like to be "in the mood"?
—I know how sex works between two people, [ note that he makes that distinction-- ] I'm just. What's it like. How do you end up liking someone so much you'd want to be that vulnerable around them?
They didn't nail every single thing down.
[ What he means is, if something can be removed, it can be reformed into something else. Blessed be the minds of the disgusting perverts and murderers who have had their time in the sun before Shinji or the other clones had hacked them to pieces in familiar ways. Elegance in murder might as well have been the tag line for the older generations; from brain flowers to cannibal dishes to split-level body mosaics, they'd tried it at least once. It's a gruesome, unrelenting kind of creativity, and worse is the man that nurtured that particular instinct in them all. ]
I could try to talk to her? Coordinate and shit. Put a call out to the general public, I guess. People like to help, for whatever godforsaken reason.
[ If he was in total ease over talk about bombing a general populace, the next subject is very clearly uncomfortable. ]
What's it like to be "in the mood"?
—I know how sex works between two people, [ note that he makes that distinction-- ] I'm just. What's it like. How do you end up liking someone so much you'd want to be that vulnerable around them?
Edited 2017-09-05 07:50 (UTC)
[ Understanding was never Venom's strong suit. From the get-go, the frenetic jumpstart of his second life, his directives have always been more about the simple binary of acting and reacting. See a gun? Shoot it. Find a hostage? Bring them back. Hear a report? Memorize it.
It startles him sometimes, when he thinks about how his entire life's been a lesson in learning how to color by numbers.
But hey, who's complaining?
This makes sense to him, though. When he gets into position, rolls his tense shoulders and slides gracefully into sparring position. Muscle memory is distressingly uncomplicated in a way that feels right; the manual shutdown of his brain functions feels good. Autopilot kicks in like his favorite song, and the gentility of his tempered features flickers and fades. ]
Ready.
[ He's more machine than man like this, five paces away from Tetora with his gunmetal eye. ]
Don't hold back.
It startles him sometimes, when he thinks about how his entire life's been a lesson in learning how to color by numbers.
But hey, who's complaining?
This makes sense to him, though. When he gets into position, rolls his tense shoulders and slides gracefully into sparring position. Muscle memory is distressingly uncomplicated in a way that feels right; the manual shutdown of his brain functions feels good. Autopilot kicks in like his favorite song, and the gentility of his tempered features flickers and fades. ]
Ready.
[ He's more machine than man like this, five paces away from Tetora with his gunmetal eye. ]
Don't hold back.
Oh... um.
[He has to think about that one.] I used to not worry about being vulnerable. Not until we lost the base. So before that, it was easy. Someone looked good enough and that was that. But later...
He's seen me at my most vulnerable. And I've spent hours upon hours listening to him on missions. He doesn't talk much. He breathes, he runs, he fights. I hear gunfire or the sound of a helicopter and my heart races in a panic. Every victory is a relief. He'd come back from those missions and he'd smell like sweat and blood and desert. But he would be there for any soldier that wanted his attention, he cared about their lives. He wanted nothing but peaceful hearts on his base. No violence between his men.
[Even when Kaz had wanted suspicion, he could admire that in him unquestioningly.]
So it wasn't so much that he was a man, but that he is who he is. [But that he looks good does help.] And then one day you notice enough about someone that the next time you notice a new thing it makes your heart skip a beat and your palms sweat. Or... palm, I guess. [In Kaz's case.] It's not so much the sex part that makes it count.
Anyway. No general call-outs. Be subtle. I'm trying to keep it as off the network as possible. [He nods to the window where he'd pulled the curtains.] They're watching us. They find this out and they'll take even more away, possibly even the general medical supplies. Word of mouth is best.
[He has to think about that one.] I used to not worry about being vulnerable. Not until we lost the base. So before that, it was easy. Someone looked good enough and that was that. But later...
He's seen me at my most vulnerable. And I've spent hours upon hours listening to him on missions. He doesn't talk much. He breathes, he runs, he fights. I hear gunfire or the sound of a helicopter and my heart races in a panic. Every victory is a relief. He'd come back from those missions and he'd smell like sweat and blood and desert. But he would be there for any soldier that wanted his attention, he cared about their lives. He wanted nothing but peaceful hearts on his base. No violence between his men.
[Even when Kaz had wanted suspicion, he could admire that in him unquestioningly.]
So it wasn't so much that he was a man, but that he is who he is. [But that he looks good does help.] And then one day you notice enough about someone that the next time you notice a new thing it makes your heart skip a beat and your palms sweat. Or... palm, I guess. [In Kaz's case.] It's not so much the sex part that makes it count.
Anyway. No general call-outs. Be subtle. I'm trying to keep it as off the network as possible. [He nods to the window where he'd pulled the curtains.] They're watching us. They find this out and they'll take even more away, possibly even the general medical supplies. Word of mouth is best.
[ He finishes the last lap of split stretches, and as he straightens up - rolling shoulders with a nice clean crack - he shifts.
There's a theory about micro-expressions, how they're key to facial recognition, and certainly there's been software written for detecting key anchor points in one's face based on the theory. If it applies now, then Tetora's doing a damn good job of ruining the preset data he's put out since he got here.
Call it a bleedthrough. The teenager smile is replaced by an older man's sneer, though the shape of their mouths have always been the same. The eyes lose a bit of their wondering shine, turning jaded and snide. A shadow of a man overlapping with a younger one - or an older program overriding certain parts of a newer version.
He is Shinji. Shinji is him. They're the same goddamn person and this whole trip is dragging his fetid corpse back up from the ground. ]
Don't do me any favors, either. [ Snake is solid, heavy, strong. He's banking on it. He's itching for the gut-punch, the sweet coppery taste of a good beating. ] You can break me.
[ He... walks. He walks up to Snake, stopping just shy of two feet from him, before testing a quick jab forward. Any other time and he'd be running at them with a gun or a blade, or the sharp end of a wakizashi ready at hand, but Snake's heft and bulk would sooner make him bounce off him than topple over. Tetora's not fought a lot of guys much bigger than he is - pitfalls of fighting your own clones, he thinks wryly.
He repeats the quick hits, not aiming for anything vital just yet, though he throws faster with every lap he makes around Snake. The short hand-fashioned knife he introduces around the fifth turn - after he's mapped Snake's breadth. Tetora's not under any grand delusions here - he knows he's being allowed to. ]
There's a theory about micro-expressions, how they're key to facial recognition, and certainly there's been software written for detecting key anchor points in one's face based on the theory. If it applies now, then Tetora's doing a damn good job of ruining the preset data he's put out since he got here.
Call it a bleedthrough. The teenager smile is replaced by an older man's sneer, though the shape of their mouths have always been the same. The eyes lose a bit of their wondering shine, turning jaded and snide. A shadow of a man overlapping with a younger one - or an older program overriding certain parts of a newer version.
He is Shinji. Shinji is him. They're the same goddamn person and this whole trip is dragging his fetid corpse back up from the ground. ]
Don't do me any favors, either. [ Snake is solid, heavy, strong. He's banking on it. He's itching for the gut-punch, the sweet coppery taste of a good beating. ] You can break me.
[ He... walks. He walks up to Snake, stopping just shy of two feet from him, before testing a quick jab forward. Any other time and he'd be running at them with a gun or a blade, or the sharp end of a wakizashi ready at hand, but Snake's heft and bulk would sooner make him bounce off him than topple over. Tetora's not fought a lot of guys much bigger than he is - pitfalls of fighting your own clones, he thinks wryly.
He repeats the quick hits, not aiming for anything vital just yet, though he throws faster with every lap he makes around Snake. The short hand-fashioned knife he introduces around the fifth turn - after he's mapped Snake's breadth. Tetora's not under any grand delusions here - he knows he's being allowed to. ]
[ It's like an alien language wormed its way into his ears and he can't shake it out. ]
I don't get it. [ Well, not really. That's a lie. ] It's never been like that for me. There was a guy. The Candyman. He was my handler when I was younger. I was never naive about why he had that name, he was a creepy motherfucker even without the drugs and the handling. I don't... Remember a lot of it. If I wasn't bound and gagged I was high as a kite. They only let me on stabilizers if I had a target to hit.
[ This is why he'd wanted to meet, too. He doesn't have anyone who knows how to pull him back, or knows what the symptoms are like. Tetora figures, if it had to be anyone, he could do worse than Miller. ]
It's these little numbered pills. Zero through seven. They'd give me something to sober me up, only that came with side effects that pretty much rendered me incapable of acting on my own. And then... I forget what the other pills do, but the last set always had me begging. I'd do anything. Anything they'd ask or tell me to. And the best part is I actually need the shit - it keeps me lucid. Keeps me me. They just decided to cut it up across several doses, mixing in a whole other cocktail of crap right in with it.
[ Fill in the blanks yourself. He leans back against the wall, picks up his legs and folds them under him. ]
Killing him wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be. He's just dead. Same as everyone else.
[ He'd come close to wanting intimacy with Miwa, but the fact that they were copies of each other, literal halves of a whole, was an issue they both couldn't get around, nor did they want to. Miwa couldn't stomach the idea of being nothing more than a baby receptacle, on top of a body spare. Tetora couldn't stomach the thought of touching the girl who was, by all accounts, his biological sister. ]
I'm glad he takes care of you, though. He said as much.
What do you need the most right now, for the bombs?
I don't get it. [ Well, not really. That's a lie. ] It's never been like that for me. There was a guy. The Candyman. He was my handler when I was younger. I was never naive about why he had that name, he was a creepy motherfucker even without the drugs and the handling. I don't... Remember a lot of it. If I wasn't bound and gagged I was high as a kite. They only let me on stabilizers if I had a target to hit.
[ This is why he'd wanted to meet, too. He doesn't have anyone who knows how to pull him back, or knows what the symptoms are like. Tetora figures, if it had to be anyone, he could do worse than Miller. ]
It's these little numbered pills. Zero through seven. They'd give me something to sober me up, only that came with side effects that pretty much rendered me incapable of acting on my own. And then... I forget what the other pills do, but the last set always had me begging. I'd do anything. Anything they'd ask or tell me to. And the best part is I actually need the shit - it keeps me lucid. Keeps me me. They just decided to cut it up across several doses, mixing in a whole other cocktail of crap right in with it.
[ Fill in the blanks yourself. He leans back against the wall, picks up his legs and folds them under him. ]
Killing him wasn't as satisfying as I thought it'd be. He's just dead. Same as everyone else.
[ He'd come close to wanting intimacy with Miwa, but the fact that they were copies of each other, literal halves of a whole, was an issue they both couldn't get around, nor did they want to. Miwa couldn't stomach the idea of being nothing more than a baby receptacle, on top of a body spare. Tetora couldn't stomach the thought of touching the girl who was, by all accounts, his biological sister. ]
I'm glad he takes care of you, though. He said as much.
What do you need the most right now, for the bombs?
Edited (phrasing) 2017-09-05 08:45 (UTC)
[Ah.]
[That explains it, then. His concerns about a man being with other men.] I don't think that was because he liked men, I think it was because he was generally disgusting. [Permission and lucidity are pretty much hardwired into a need.]
[Killing Skull Face had only been a temporary relief. He had felt it, but in the end the greater fear remained. The constant worry that his base would be invaded, that he'd lose his new family still remained. Ridding the world of key parts of Cipher didn't fix things, and in the end, he found new reasons to hate.]
[Oddly, though, he is glad Tetora killed that son of a bitch.]
[Kaz sits down on the edge of the bed, resting the crutch off to the side.] That's not being in the mood, what he did. And it might take a while for you to let someone see you vulnerable. It's hard, learning to get close to kill people instead of making them feel loved. It should be the latter that's the priority, but you learned the opposite of what everyone else does.
What do you imagine it's like? Letting someone see you that vulnerable? [He pulls out a pad of paper to write down more of the ingredients that they might need, not answering the question just yet. He wants to ask what Venom said, but for now he resists. He's more interested in knowing this.]
[That explains it, then. His concerns about a man being with other men.] I don't think that was because he liked men, I think it was because he was generally disgusting. [Permission and lucidity are pretty much hardwired into a need.]
[Killing Skull Face had only been a temporary relief. He had felt it, but in the end the greater fear remained. The constant worry that his base would be invaded, that he'd lose his new family still remained. Ridding the world of key parts of Cipher didn't fix things, and in the end, he found new reasons to hate.]
[Oddly, though, he is glad Tetora killed that son of a bitch.]
[Kaz sits down on the edge of the bed, resting the crutch off to the side.] That's not being in the mood, what he did. And it might take a while for you to let someone see you vulnerable. It's hard, learning to get close to kill people instead of making them feel loved. It should be the latter that's the priority, but you learned the opposite of what everyone else does.
What do you imagine it's like? Letting someone see you that vulnerable? [He pulls out a pad of paper to write down more of the ingredients that they might need, not answering the question just yet. He wants to ask what Venom said, but for now he resists. He's more interested in knowing this.]
[ Gears change, and something shifts to overdrive. The panels that fit together to form Tetora's face skew, distorting the whole like Picasso's Guernica.
No time to be keeping track of all the ways that the kid becomes a stranger to him, though. His synapses flare all at once, crowding coherent thought and reducing his physical functions to the push and pull of pain and punishment— the bones in his forearm laugh from where Tetora's fists contact with his thrown-up guard, sending stinging shivers down the breadth of his spine.
(it's not that he likes the pain. he never has, but—)
It's the introduction of the knife that prompts a retaliation, an aggressive maneuver in lieu of the lukewarm defenses that he'd defaulted to at first. No attempt is made to dodge; instead, he pivots and surges forward, like it'd be a great idea to catch the blade using his ribs instead of somewhere more sensible.
Tetora won't feel the warm slide of an easy stab, though. What Venom does is hit the serrated edge of that weapon with his metal forearm (cheating), bucking it up and off-course before twisting that artificial wrist all the way to disarm his assailant with a flick of his hand. He could catch that knife and drive it right into Tetora's neck (nothing he hasn't done before), but he lets the metal clatter to the ground and goes for a more straightforward knee to Tetora's stomach.
Nothing that would actually injure the kid, though. At the end of the day, Venom'd never forgive himself if he did. ]
No time to be keeping track of all the ways that the kid becomes a stranger to him, though. His synapses flare all at once, crowding coherent thought and reducing his physical functions to the push and pull of pain and punishment— the bones in his forearm laugh from where Tetora's fists contact with his thrown-up guard, sending stinging shivers down the breadth of his spine.
(it's not that he likes the pain. he never has, but—)
It's the introduction of the knife that prompts a retaliation, an aggressive maneuver in lieu of the lukewarm defenses that he'd defaulted to at first. No attempt is made to dodge; instead, he pivots and surges forward, like it'd be a great idea to catch the blade using his ribs instead of somewhere more sensible.
Tetora won't feel the warm slide of an easy stab, though. What Venom does is hit the serrated edge of that weapon with his metal forearm (cheating), bucking it up and off-course before twisting that artificial wrist all the way to disarm his assailant with a flick of his hand. He could catch that knife and drive it right into Tetora's neck (nothing he hasn't done before), but he lets the metal clatter to the ground and goes for a more straightforward knee to Tetora's stomach.
Nothing that would actually injure the kid, though. At the end of the day, Venom'd never forgive himself if he did. ]
Invasive. Dangerous. Someone's gonna die by the end of it.
[ He understands, objectively, that it's conditioning. Even though he's a clone of a clone the basic template is still human genetics, and humans will always need physical contact. Evolution or some shit. The need for physical contact manifested differently with the clones, relieving it through murder and violence instead of seeking healthy, stable relationships - it doesn't mean they've stopped operating within the dictates of their DNA.
Lucy Monostone was human, once. In theory, any of them could ascend to humanity as well. It's just really fucking hard. ]
It doesn't matter, anyway. [ Look at that dino, having no problem in the world whatsoever. Tetora decides he hates it with every fiber of his being. ] I can't have sex with anyone without killing them, one way or another. I just wanted to ask what it's like.
...So who's on top?
[ He understands, objectively, that it's conditioning. Even though he's a clone of a clone the basic template is still human genetics, and humans will always need physical contact. Evolution or some shit. The need for physical contact manifested differently with the clones, relieving it through murder and violence instead of seeking healthy, stable relationships - it doesn't mean they've stopped operating within the dictates of their DNA.
Lucy Monostone was human, once. In theory, any of them could ascend to humanity as well. It's just really fucking hard. ]
It doesn't matter, anyway. [ Look at that dino, having no problem in the world whatsoever. Tetora decides he hates it with every fiber of his being. ] I can't have sex with anyone without killing them, one way or another. I just wanted to ask what it's like.
...So who's on top?
[ Rookie mistake - he forgot about the arm. Not that it's metal, he didn't forget that. He forgot about the extent of the arm's flexibility, particularly at the wrist, and Tetora spares a moment to hiss through his teeth before he catches Snake's knee to his stomach.
It hurts. Like a motherfucker. He's lifted to the balls of his feet from the impact, and Tetora banks on Snake's thigh for a hot second before rolling off, one hand scraping on the cement while the other holds steady where the knee hit. Pain radiates out, but it's nothing compared to the rush of adrenaline clearing its way through him. His teeth itch.
He switches gears and breaks into a full run.
Quick footwork has him kicking the discarded knife up in the air, and a swift backhand has it flying in Snake's direction, but it's a screen. Snake might deflect it with his metal arm; swipe it aside with his flesh one; dodge it entirely; grab it in mid-air and throw it back, or use it against him; lowest chance of possibility is it hits. Doesn't matter.
Snake's got a shirt on.
He just needs to grab on it - diving right under a swing of the man's arms and reaching for the hem at the back. ]
It hurts. Like a motherfucker. He's lifted to the balls of his feet from the impact, and Tetora banks on Snake's thigh for a hot second before rolling off, one hand scraping on the cement while the other holds steady where the knee hit. Pain radiates out, but it's nothing compared to the rush of adrenaline clearing its way through him. His teeth itch.
He switches gears and breaks into a full run.
Quick footwork has him kicking the discarded knife up in the air, and a swift backhand has it flying in Snake's direction, but it's a screen. Snake might deflect it with his metal arm; swipe it aside with his flesh one; dodge it entirely; grab it in mid-air and throw it back, or use it against him; lowest chance of possibility is it hits. Doesn't matter.
Snake's got a shirt on.
He just needs to grab on it - diving right under a swing of the man's arms and reaching for the hem at the back. ]
[Kaz has, generally, erred on the side of honesty when it comes to sex. Especially when the someone he's speaking to comes from an environment where it's been used for disgusting reasons or there's a backlash against it. For many reasons, really; ranging from the fact his mother was a prostitute to the fact he used to have many partners. Reacting with offense won't actually do anyone many favors, including him.]
[But boy, Tetora has managed to startle him today.]
Well, I guess... whoever is in the mood to be.
[Which is technically true, even if it falls back on "mood".]
To be honest I'm more interested in being physical in general than he is. [Which he knows is too much information as well, but there is a point to it.] Some people need someone to be comfortable with them for a while first before they feel it.
Do you mean you're inevitably forced to or physically can't? [He looks over at the dinosaur, too, wondering why Tetora suddenly seems to specifically be annoyed in that general direction.]
[But boy, Tetora has managed to startle him today.]
Well, I guess... whoever is in the mood to be.
[Which is technically true, even if it falls back on "mood".]
To be honest I'm more interested in being physical in general than he is. [Which he knows is too much information as well, but there is a point to it.] Some people need someone to be comfortable with them for a while first before they feel it.
Do you mean you're inevitably forced to or physically can't? [He looks over at the dinosaur, too, wondering why Tetora suddenly seems to specifically be annoyed in that general direction.]
Edited (too much repetition must fix) 2017-09-06 03:06 (UTC)
I mean I'm supposed to fuck my sister-half and have a baby with her, except our clone mother decided she wants to have the baby herself. [ Fuck dinosaurs. Fuck curtains. Fuck hundred-thread count sheets and the sun while he's at it. ] Miwa's immune to the shit in my body. All the girl clones are, in theory, but— C, this one girl, from the first clone group. She and brother-half were well on their way to succeeding together, they grew up as twins. She was changing, veering off-program, and Ooe's dick was causing it, so they had to die.
[ C made people want to live. She sang the songs she was meant to, but instead of making people want to kill themselves, she gave them hope. Ooe knew. Tried to hide it from the rest of them. Shinji snitching on them both was insult to injury - Ooe had been his friend. ]
—I mean, my dick works fine. I get what it's supposed to be like. [ Yosuke had a healthy sex life, as did pretty much fucking everybody else. ] I know what feels good for me, what doesn't.
[ Tetora drags both hands over his face. This was nowhere near his planned topics for conversation today. Or this year. Or for the rest of his life, honestly. ]
How comfortable does a person have to be to get to that mood point? What do you do to... [ VAGUE HAND GESTURES. For once he doesn't have the vocabulary to articulate his confusion. ]
[ C made people want to live. She sang the songs she was meant to, but instead of making people want to kill themselves, she gave them hope. Ooe knew. Tried to hide it from the rest of them. Shinji snitching on them both was insult to injury - Ooe had been his friend. ]
—I mean, my dick works fine. I get what it's supposed to be like. [ Yosuke had a healthy sex life, as did pretty much fucking everybody else. ] I know what feels good for me, what doesn't.
[ Tetora drags both hands over his face. This was nowhere near his planned topics for conversation today. Or this year. Or for the rest of his life, honestly. ]
How comfortable does a person have to be to get to that mood point? What do you do to... [ VAGUE HAND GESTURES. For once he doesn't have the vocabulary to articulate his confusion. ]
it has topped the peanut butter and jelly is like being bisexual thread
warandpeace
2017-09-06 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
[This is the one time that Kaz wants to walk up to Liquid and Solid, gently put his hands on either of their shoulders, and say, "You don't know how good you have it." Zero had arranged for some pretty fucked up things, but to be perfectly honest for the most part they were slightly less bad than what he's hearing here. Even if by a slim margin. And that's speaking of someone who had a man like Skull Face in his employ.]
[This is certainly more of a volatile scenario than he's ever encountered before, in the ways of disastrous sex he's heard described.]
Hell of an example of how it's not supposed to go.
[Kaz thinks hard about that question, looking down at his left leg, notably cropped short without his prosthetic.] In my case I needed someone that would accept what was wrong with me. So I didn't feel self-conscious if they saw my scars. I couldn't really speak for anyone else. In my experience I liked having someone look at me like I made them happy, they were proud of what I accomplished or could accomplish.
And once I had that I could really start looking or believe they could find something attractive, even if- [-again, he kicks out his stump, jostling his pants leg as a demonstration of what he's missing.]
There were a lot of complications. But if you care about someone and they're willing to let you get close to them, or vice versa, then you can find some way to enjoy each other's close company. It doesn't have to be sex. We've just slept together frequently.
[This is certainly more of a volatile scenario than he's ever encountered before, in the ways of disastrous sex he's heard described.]
Hell of an example of how it's not supposed to go.
[Kaz thinks hard about that question, looking down at his left leg, notably cropped short without his prosthetic.] In my case I needed someone that would accept what was wrong with me. So I didn't feel self-conscious if they saw my scars. I couldn't really speak for anyone else. In my experience I liked having someone look at me like I made them happy, they were proud of what I accomplished or could accomplish.
And once I had that I could really start looking or believe they could find something attractive, even if- [-again, he kicks out his stump, jostling his pants leg as a demonstration of what he's missing.]
There were a lot of complications. But if you care about someone and they're willing to let you get close to them, or vice versa, then you can find some way to enjoy each other's close company. It doesn't have to be sex. We've just slept together frequently.
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