[If it wasn't holding Shiro in place, the shadow probably would have clapped its hands. Or something. It looks downright giddy -- like a cheshire cat watching a mouse. It bounces a little on its heels, leaning forward ever so slightly until its head is all but resting on one of Shiro's shaking shoulders.]
[Say that three times fast.]
[His eyes are glazed over -- both with pain and the multiple flashes back and forth from reality to memory. Things he wants to say bounce around on the tip of his tongue but won't come out. He feels lightheaded, short of breath. Only partly because of pain. Partly because of fear.]
I... don't deserve...
What? Don't deserve admiration? Don't deserve to be called a hero? Why? Scared of it going to your pretty little head? Scared everyone's going to find out everything you did? They already know you lost Allura, and she already forgave you! You just don't want to let it go, because, holy shit, then you won't have anything to beat yourself up with!
Or, you know, they'll find out everything you can't remember about the real arena. [It leans in closer, then, face pressed into the side of Shiro's head. Eyes on the crumbled body across from them. On the other shadow.] You're not a hero, Champion. You're a science experiment. You're a failed pilot. You're a murderer...
[He goes absolutely rigid. Hearing that. Completely freezes. Even the trembling in his limbs goes still -- like the ice pooling in his chest is real, literal. The shadow just laughs. Teeth press into an ear, a mocking sort of gesture, meant to tease more than hurt.]
Go on... Tell them what you did to Sendak. What you did to Chara. Tell them why you're no hero.
[... he's standing deep in the Castle vaults, until he's staring at a leering, alien face. There's a voice in his head, terror in every fiber of him. Where he doesn't know if this is real, if this is all in his head. But he can't stop it. He's trapped, as much as he wants to fight it, as much as he wants to deny it.]
[a monster ... broken and reformed ... what makes you think that you ... ]
[Jumbled. All the words tripping and twisting over each other. Until it's all he can do but lash out. Panicked. Striking out to make it S T O P -- Glass cracks under his hand. That staring, victorious face slipping away. Dropped into bottomless stars while he can't catch his own breath...]
I... I k...
[His voice is so small. So strained. The words like knives stabbing him in the throat -- he can't look away from the other person here. The other real life person.]
no subject
[Say that three times fast.]
[His eyes are glazed over -- both with pain and the multiple flashes back and forth from reality to memory. Things he wants to say bounce around on the tip of his tongue but won't come out. He feels lightheaded, short of breath. Only partly because of pain. Partly because of fear.]
I... don't deserve...
What? Don't deserve admiration? Don't deserve to be called a hero? Why? Scared of it going to your pretty little head? Scared everyone's going to find out everything you did? They already know you lost Allura, and she already forgave you! You just don't want to let it go, because, holy shit, then you won't have anything to beat yourself up with!
Or, you know, they'll find out everything you can't remember about the real arena. [It leans in closer, then, face pressed into the side of Shiro's head. Eyes on the crumbled body across from them. On the other shadow.] You're not a hero, Champion. You're a science experiment. You're a failed pilot. You're a murderer...
[He goes absolutely rigid. Hearing that. Completely freezes. Even the trembling in his limbs goes still -- like the ice pooling in his chest is real, literal. The shadow just laughs. Teeth press into an ear, a mocking sort of gesture, meant to tease more than hurt.]
Go on... Tell them what you did to Sendak. What you did to Chara. Tell them why you're no hero.
[... he's standing deep in the Castle vaults, until he's staring at a leering, alien face. There's a voice in his head, terror in every fiber of him. Where he doesn't know if this is real, if this is all in his head. But he can't stop it. He's trapped, as much as he wants to fight it, as much as he wants to deny it.]
[a monster ... broken and reformed ... what makes you think that you ... ]
[Jumbled. All the words tripping and twisting over each other. Until it's all he can do but lash out. Panicked. Striking out to make it S T O P -- Glass cracks under his hand. That staring, victorious face slipping away. Dropped into bottomless stars while he can't catch his own breath...]
I... I k...
[His voice is so small. So strained. The words like knives stabbing him in the throat -- he can't look away from the other person here. The other real life person.]
I killed him...