The bottom of her stomach drops and the corners of her lips are drawn back into a half grimace almost as if he had said something disgusting. She can feel her hairs standing up in back of her neck as a single thought washes over her, piercing through her muscles and bones, settling down on something deep. A thought that yells her to let go. She can't have this.

She can't have this if she wants to survive. Because underneath the yelling there's a small part that whispers to her ear with a soft voice that she'll stay or go with him anywhere if he were to ask. Were it in this universe or in his world, everywhere would be alright as long he asked. It's like she's a cat who's claws are threatened to be cut. And she can't have that, she can't allow to be tamed like this.

"I lied," she says as she lets out a deep breath, one that she didn't know she was holding back. Oh. J's lied and hidden so many things from him and everyone else. "I lied. About mom. I-it's not the whole truth." She continues and finally pulls her hand away from his grip. "She killed him only because I made her to. Good people aren't like that--- good kids don't do things like that."

She can't have this trust because she's afraid it'll destroy her and so she needs to break it. And in her experience nothing broke more relationships than the truth.

"You love family, right? You understand that someone who destroys and hurts a family can't be good."