[It's not a shock to Adam but it still hits him painfully when Ronan says it. He hadn't expected him to confess, not after being here for days, not after everything that had happened between them he would have thought the time for telling him would be before now. He rubbed his fingers over his chin as he worked to keep himself composed and not say the first things that came to mind.
After all, he had extracted the fact that Kavinsky wouldn't tell Ronan, so why would Adam tell him that he already knew? His brows furrow and a part of him wants to ask how much he's been with other people. If he misses being with them and a million other questions that he doesn't want the answer to. He can still remember Andyr pulling that card. It hadn't made sense at the time. ]
Why wait to tell me? [He said softly. Because in the end it was the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't hurt them both and he didn't want to hurt Ronan. Somehow, Adam felt like he deserves this, that this is all because he, Adam, isn't good enough.
He'd won the lottery getting Ronan's first kiss, how could be upset that Ronan had given away other firsts to others? He forced the ache away, constricting his heart so he couldn't feel too much, just has he had been doing from that moment that Kavinsky had told him about Andyr. He'd pushed himself away, built a safe zone around himself. Everyday Ronan had assaulted the safe zone with his love and affection and even if Adam had been less forthcoming with initiating he'd not denied Ronan. He's tried to act normal.]
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After all, he had extracted the fact that Kavinsky wouldn't tell Ronan, so why would Adam tell him that he already knew? His brows furrow and a part of him wants to ask how much he's been with other people. If he misses being with them and a million other questions that he doesn't want the answer to. He can still remember Andyr pulling that card. It hadn't made sense at the time. ]
Why wait to tell me? [He said softly. Because in the end it was the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't hurt them both and he didn't want to hurt Ronan. Somehow, Adam felt like he deserves this, that this is all because he, Adam, isn't good enough.
He'd won the lottery getting Ronan's first kiss, how could be upset that Ronan had given away other firsts to others? He forced the ache away, constricting his heart so he couldn't feel too much, just has he had been doing from that moment that Kavinsky had told him about Andyr. He'd pushed himself away, built a safe zone around himself. Everyday Ronan had assaulted the safe zone with his love and affection and even if Adam had been less forthcoming with initiating he'd not denied Ronan. He's tried to act normal.]