[Afraid will happen later, when Ronan is alone and sober and he's back in the world of consequences. When he realizes he got high with someone he barely knows and dreamt fireworks and had anonymous sex on the dirt, of all fucking places. When he realizes he might have to scrub more than one demon out of his mind.
Ronan's not afraid right now, just seized with a desire he doesn't know how to handle. The Catholicism everyone likes to laugh at him about? This is where it usually kicks in. It stops mistakes from happening, the things he wants but knows he'll regret later. Unfortunately, cocaine is so much more powerful than God, and now Jesse's hand his guiding his hand, so there isn't even the space for hesitation. Ronan's in a daze while Jesse manipulates his fingers and thrusts into his palm, whispering reassurances into his ear. It does feel good. Everything feels good. How did he get here again?]
Y-Yeah.
[More drugs. Sure. He could use the confidence. He's not sure if he's supposed to stop stroking Jesse or keep doing it while he searches for the cocaine. Ronan opts to keep doing it, more fascinated than anything else.]
no subject
Ronan's not afraid right now, just seized with a desire he doesn't know how to handle. The Catholicism everyone likes to laugh at him about? This is where it usually kicks in. It stops mistakes from happening, the things he wants but knows he'll regret later. Unfortunately, cocaine is so much more powerful than God, and now Jesse's hand his guiding his hand, so there isn't even the space for hesitation. Ronan's in a daze while Jesse manipulates his fingers and thrusts into his palm, whispering reassurances into his ear. It does feel good. Everything feels good. How did he get here again?]
Y-Yeah.
[More drugs. Sure. He could use the confidence. He's not sure if he's supposed to stop stroking Jesse or keep doing it while he searches for the cocaine. Ronan opts to keep doing it, more fascinated than anything else.]