straightouttacarbonite: (004)
han solo ([personal profile] straightouttacarbonite) wrote in [community profile] thisavrou_log 2016-08-19 03:42 pm (UTC)

Maybe not wanting it is the problem. He can't shake the sense that things would be-- well, just easier for all of them if that hadn't come into the situation.  It seems unfair, more burden than blessing, and so the idea of wanting to understand, to delve deeper, makes no sense to him.  It works for Luke, maybe.  The rest of them...  

He shakes his head, then shifts to lean against her.  It's reassurance he's not sure he deserves.  

"I'd like to think so.  I just don't know."  There's a disconnect there, made all the broader by Jaina, who doesn't seem to feel so abandoned.  Talking about this is miserable-- being aware of his own shortcomings is one thing, pointing them out to the woman he's always trying to impress is another-- but much as he wants to, it doesn't feel like he can keep this to himself anymore. 

"Ben says I've never tried to understand." 

He lets the declaration hang like that. It's a reluctant admission to begin with, he's not eager to share details.  Surprise, Leia, he talks to their son sometimes.  It was kind of a surprise to him, too. 

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