thisavrou_log | I don't think another drinks' gonna make me lose my mind

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I don't think another drinks' gonna make me lose my mind

Who: J and Hawke
When: Day after the crash
Where: In Tony's tent
What: The girls get drunk and share stories
Warnings: Alcohol consumption and pretty crass talk about sex.

Getting drunk isn't really the brightest idea at the moment now that some of their more important resources were either scarce or limited. Resources like clean, drinkable water. But unsurprising enough, the knowledge of the dire situation hasn't stopped J from being drunk almost two days straight now. It's not like she's ever claimed to be the brightest lamp in the crew, right?

Besides, it was nice to have something to distract from thinking about Moira, Peter, Rinzler or any other messes and dramas that had been building up lately. Alcohol is a true friend in a need.

After spending the first night out, both drunk and high, meeting other crew members and barely getting any sleep she's on rather.. interesting mood. Her brain feeling both hyper and slow at the same time from the hectic combination of sleep deprivation and alcohol. At some point she had run into Hawke, who had looked even more miserable than she usually does (at least to her eyes), one thing lead to another and they ended up inside of Tony Starks tent -- both obviously drunk. Kitty, Hawke's giant dog, is outside of the tent guarding it and making sure that their silly, giggly "No Men"-rule stays.

"I really hope you've packed some stuff too?" J mumbles and opens yet another jar of moonshine, dropping some sliced fruits inside. "With your gluttonous ways we'll be running out in no time."

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Hawke, who hadn't touched a single thing except the alcohol, gives J a look. One that's part amused, part incredulous, and part a bit cold. "Yes, you know me. Can't control myself. You'll have to roll me out of here." Says the woman who is more sharp angles than curves. She's wearing a jacket that belongs to a man, maybe Tony, and it hangs loosely off her thin shoulders.

She's tired. She's so tired. But she can't seem tired because she has to protect people like J who need her magic. She runs a hand through her messy hair before reaching out to grab the jar of moonshine and take a long drink.

"Perhaps you'll have to go into distilling."

Edited 2016-12-08 01:57 (UTC)

The jab was more aimed at her consumption of alcohol rather than food. J had seen her getting drunk in the secret bar plenty of times and at least in that regard she really did seem to have bottomless stomach. Of course, she's aware of what Hawke's body is truly like. She's seen her naked before thanks to their gambling night back on the Mantis planet. So she knows about the marred skin with scars and burns and what not.

"Charming," she says while watching her take the long gulp from the jar. Oh, she's going to have to find a way to make her pay for all of this later. "Too bad that was more of Tony's part. I'm just the pretty face to sell it."

"Well I'm definitely glad they chose you for that part and not the other way around," is the easy reply. Though the idea of Tony being a mascot was pretty hilarious. Hawke then drops the jar and hands it over to J with a good third of it gone. She probably shouldn't be drunk. But it's something to stop her hands from shaking every time she thinks about those demons on the Moira and the subsequent crash.

"They?!" She shouts and puts a hand on top of her chest, her tone mocking a offended one. "Dearie, dearie. Just who you think they are? I'm the one who put the actors on their places on this show. The brains so to speak." It's probably never been really pointed out but the speakeasy had been her idea in the first place and now that the place is gone she's definitely going to take the credit for it.

"I'm the brain, Shepard's the muscle and Tony is. Well," she pauses, having to think the proper term. "He's the booze tree."

Hawke snorts back a laugh that she tries to purposefully poorly pass off as a cough. "Sorry. I've got a knack for questioning the authority. I can't help it. I even did it unintentionally to you. You're the brains. I can see it now."

If she were any sober J definitely would have spotted the tone of her masked laughter. But now, with her brains nicely warm and slow from the alcohol she just nods and takes that as a sign of recognition instead of mockery.

"That so? I didn't see you trying to throw out the captains at any point. Or attempt for mutiny."

"I said I question it, not that I do anything about it." Is the simple reply that clearly makes sense to Hawke.

"Lazy on top of all things?" Not that it came to her as a surprise. "Man, you must be really popular among the men."

"I am," Hawke agrees cheerfully. And it's true. She's rarely had any trouble getting the sex she wants from anyone she wants it from. "Men, women, elves, dwarves, qunari... probably."

J raises her brow a little at that remark before laughing out loud. "Oh, sure. Your whole appearance just screams of femininity and sexiness. Men can't resist you." She snorts and brings the jar to her lips, taking a big gulp from it. "Or who knows, maybe it's the animalistic charisma that makes them drawn to you?" Because really, Hawke is one of the least attractive women she's met. Despite rather pretty face her scrawny and marred body would be enough to scare any man away.

"And I bet you're making up just half of that list."

Edited 2016-12-11 21:32 (UTC)

If there's any indication that Hawke is hurt by J's assessment of her, she doesn't show it. That amused look remains on her face, like J just gave a hilariously clever observation about the cheese plate at a party. Hawke knows what she is and what she looks like. What J said isn't news to her.

"Animalistic charisma! I like it. I'm going to start using that one at the pub at night." She leans back, observing J in a way that's somehow both lazy and sharp. "Because it seems to work on them. I never go home alone if I don't want to." And it's not just because she was famous. Even back when she was just barely older than a girl she was able to get eyes that she wanted to look at her. "It's really not that hard to get people to bed you, you know. If you're having trouble..."

Hawke can be a bitch too.

This time J wasn't actually trying to hit one insecurity or throw a punch below the belt. No, this time she's just letting her mouth run without any malice in it. So there's a lack of usual self-satisfied, victorious gleam from her eyes as she watches the other woman give her a waiting look before striking back.

"If I'm having trouble, then what. Should I come to you? Ha! That's a laugh. Do you want for advice or for something else?" She continues to laugh at her own joke, raising the jar back to her lips to take another drink. "But sure! I guess people in the backwater Thebes -- Thebas, would be excited. But what about here? You got many lovers?"

"Thedas."

Is the amicable reply. Hawke is always amicable. But especially when she's been drinking. "And here? A few. Though "lovers" is a strong word."

"That's what I said," she huffs a reply back to jar, not all too interested in the boring details like that. Besides she had hit close enough.

"And just who that few might be? Please, tell me it's not our humble host."

"Oh yes, Tony and I are always going at it. It's the only reason he hired me. An excuse to run off to the closet and get some." She nods as seriously as Hawke ever is serious in a non-serious situation which is not at all. Tony is loyal to Pepper, that's the joke. She's spent enough time with him to know that.

"I knew it. That vile bastard," she laughs back.

Actually J isn't aware of Pepper's existence yet and to be honest, she really doesn't need to know that Hawke is joking. She hadn't exactly been too serious when she had thrown the suggestion either so it would definitely have been more of a surprise if it turned out that there's something between them.

"No but can you imagine him and a woman? He's decent looking for his age. I mean, definitely fucked uglier but he has such bad taste. Have you seen his armor?"

"Not the ugliest? I'll take that as a compliment." Hawke replies and moves on straight ahead with the narrative that she's concocting. More for fun than any other reason. "And truly bad taste. He wanted to do it with the armor on and I told him that it was off or nothing. Then he decided we had to do it agains the Ingress so he could look at it while we did the deed. Perhaps that's why it crashed."

Oh, so that's the route she's going. Her laughter turns into giggles and she leans back more comfortably, pointing Hawke knowingly with one finger.

"Ha ha! I knew it. He had such big hard on the thing that he could barely stay away from it. No wonder he got along with his husband Mr. Medical bay." She snorts and offers the jar back to her. "Say, you know about any of his kinks?"

"I do. He likes you to cover yourself in pepper and sneeze on him while wearing underwear made of machine parts with bright lights and vibrations on the tits and widgets on your feet."

She sniffs and leans back like she's revealing something sad and shameful and not at all 100% bullshit.

"Pepper? Ah, so that's the secret ingredient I've been missing. To think all this time I've thought he was more into painful stuff like salt." Well, the tight and uneasy tension that had visited the tent just a while ago sure was gone now. J can't help but appreciate Hawke's crude sense of humor at times.

"But really. It's not him so who are these 'few' that you've been fucking? Surely you can reveal your secret lovers to me."

"Hmmm. I thought you'd lecture me that ladies don't fuck and tell and that's another reason why I'm the worst woman you've ever met."

Hawke counters in an easy voice. She doesn't get mad at J but she's sure going to tease her for it.

"Ah, so you acknowledge that you're a woman, then? For a moment there I thought you had mistaken about it somehow." She snorts. Now, that's a little bit too mean even from her. But that's what you get for trying to make fun out of her.

"Besides don't flatter yourself. You're only second worst woman I've met. Believe it or not I used to live with a disaster."

"I am sadly just a woman and never claimed to be more. I wish I were a dragon though. Dragon sounds better. But you're welcome to see for yourself. Since my tits seem to be a popular topic of conversation."

Then she widens her eyes with a dramatic flourish and leans back to give J a look.

"Impossible. I worked so hard to be the worst woman you've ever met."

"Please. I might have been high that time but I still remember what you have under there. And what not. Sometimes I just wonder whether you do." She snorts. As much as she'd like to erase the everything that had happened back on the Mantis' planet she knows it's not going to happen.

"Ha you wish! Honestly, even if you were a dragon you'd still be only the second. At least you don't look like a dumb underaged boy. And so far I haven't seen you trying to steal someone's man either. So points there."

Hawke gives J's statement an easy nod and then pats her chest. "Definitely not. They're so small that I have to check that they're still there when I wake up. Not a day goes by where I forget my tits. So at least I don't look like a dumb underaged boy."

A shrug an another drink. "Stealing someone's man or woman is far too much work."

"See? You're already much better than that bitch. I'm still amazed how she could seduce him like that! Not only did she have dumb face but her tits were even smaller than yours. Trust me, I checked." She's now ranting, letting her mouth run without thinking. Ever since her arrival to this universe J's not really talked that much about the people she used to know back at home, especially Rita. Her hate and anger towards the other woman wasn't nearly as strong as it used to be several months ago, which can be heard from her tone, and now there's more complicated feelings mixed in all of that.

But that still didn't mean J can't complain about her previous friend. It's not every day that such tasteless and sad excuse of a woman manages to charm man she's been having a thing with.

She takes another drink as well. The surface of the booze is starting to be dangerously close to the bottom of the jar. Holding back a hiccup, she swirls the liquid around inside it and watches as the pieces of fruit move along it. It takes a few seconds before what Hawke just said fully registers to her mind.

"Wait what. Men and women?! That shit doesn't make sense."

"Smaller? Really? That sounds like they're getting dangerously close to concave. Was she alright?" Hawke is perfectly fine with making jokes on her behalf especially since J seems very cross at this mysterious woman and she doesn't want to add any fuels to the fire. So she takes a sip of her own booze and only drops it slightly to raise an eyebrow at J's curious rejection of what she said.

"It doesn't make sense to want to fuck both attractive men and women? It suits me quite well, I'll have you know."

J squints her eyes at her, dropping the previous subject momentarily. Oh, she's hardly done with ranting about and dissing Rita but as the warm fuzzy feeling keeps creeping up to her cheeks and room moving absurdly it's getting more difficult to keep focusing more than just one thing at time.

"You must be really sexually frustrated. How scary."

"Not right now. Sorry to disappoint."

She's currently banging the hottest lizard dad in the crew so she's pretty good. Plus the few that she'd had before him. Hawke is sitting rather pretty right now.

Her face is probably matches the level of smugness she feels on the inside.

"Please." She rolls her eyes widely at the unsaid implication. Of course, and unfortunately, she remembers the dare game they played back in the August and the kiss that she still owes her. But luckily for her it seems that Hawke either hasn't made the connection yet or just didn't remember about the whole thing. It's good because there's no way she'll do it unless the other woman actually asks for it.

"And don't try playing cute. Why else would you go for women as well? Unless you're a lesbian and trying to hide it."

Hawke remembers but she's saving it for a rainy day. That's how you deal with these things. Don't play your best card too early.

She cocks an eyebrow at J, the word "lesbian" going over her head entirely so she focuses on the first part.

"Why not? Woman are attractive. Soft. Curvy. Breasts that I'll never possess but can enjoy."

And J makes a disgusted face at that, wrinkling her nose and sticking her tongue out.

"Oh wow. You're a bigger pervert than I first thought." A pot calling kettle. But that's what this is sounding to her ears. Sure, they're galaxies away from her own world but there's no way she can stop thinking about how things were back at home. So far she's only met another woman who was attracted to another...

Except even that wasn't quite it.

"Are you sure it's not just jealousy on your part."

"Aw thank you, I always do like being surprising. Always keep people on their toes. That's me."

Hawke idly scratches her nose at J's questions. She'd been interrogated in a similar by Uncle Gamlen who was probably just being a literal creepy uncle. At least J seemed to be genuinely surprised.

"Of what? Tits and ass? I don't only have sex with ladies with big tits, you know. Those are only part of the package that makes women attractive. "

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