liberaltus: unless otherwise stated (Default)
dorian pavus ([personal profile] liberaltus) wrote in [community profile] thisavrou_log 2016-12-31 03:02 am (UTC)

I was confused, ashamed, angry, and sixteen. Confused by my desires, angry that I'd been promised to a life of utter misery, ashamed because I wasn't what my family hoped I would be. As a teenager I desperately wanted to follow the urges I had been smothering along with myself. It did not get much better, once I realized who I was and what I wanted there was this battle between duty and self-honesty. What my family expected of me and what I wanted.

[It was an ugly battle, but Dorian decided to love himself as much as he possibly could, but enough about him, he quirked his lips in a smile.]

Of course you can't complain, it's been quite some time since I complemented you so thoroughly and I've been terribly moody this past week. I haven't been up to my usual standards.

[Dorian knew his struggles were different from Kazuhira's, he simply laid a hand on the other man's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.] I think you have the response of a warrior...Seekers in particular do the things that need to be done, it's not always pleasant, but someone has to do the things that others cannot or will not, I think. I'm not entierly certain that there is such a thing as black and white anymore. [Growing up in a world like Thedas meant there were plenty moral grey areas one could exploit.]

I'm not entirely sure that I do do it. What was it he said? You let it keep hurting, because you think hurting is who you are. Why would you do that? [Dorian made an unusual sound in the back of his throat.] That was in reference to me, a spirit that could sense feelings would point out that I glitter to gloss my hidden hurts, I suppose that's a way of handling it.


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