no time for rest ( closed )

[abide]

Who: steve ( abide ) + bucky ( dislocked) + wanda ( seeingscarlet )
When: 05.22 ( afternoon → evening )
Where: medbay + mero deck
What: steve thaws out again after nearly a month. a lot of things have changed.
Warnings: none for now!


b u c k y

[ There are no real thoughts when he wakes up.

It's like falling, jumping—a jerk, and he's gasping for breath, the bite of cold tearing through his skin and into his heart. His fingers are stiff when he tries to reach up and grasp an edge of whatever it is he's laying in, the lip of the cryotube both icy and hot to the touch. Sensation is an odd thing, slow to return to the parts of his body further from his heart, and each inhale aches to the bone. He hates this, he thinks somewhere in the back of his mind before it drifts forward to the forefront, and suddenly, he's sixteen again in the middle of a hard winter where he could never get warm or take a full breath. Everything shudders as he rolls over, and the pain is surreal, strong enough to choke a noise out of him that's half-cough, half-grunt. Where is he? What had he been doing? He hasn't opened his eyes, and everything is black. ]

Buck-- [ Still sixteen, and he's searching for blankets that don't exist, a hand that would always be there for him to grasp. For a blinding moment, he's terrified he's gone. ] Bucky?

[ Nothing's there for far too long, not until his mind catches up with his body, and while he feels dizzy, he realizes he's not actually a kid anymore. The fear drips into a lucid knowledge of waking up like this once already, of living a handful of years out of time, and then, of the Moira. It doesn't quite connect, not entirely, but at least he's sitting on his own and shivering as his body takes over the process of trying to warm itself. The medbay is too pristine, smells too clean, but it's an odd comfort in the aftermath of coming to much too fast. When his friend's face falls into his line of sight, Steve feels himself smiling unconsciously, lips still devoid of much color and hair damp from the cryo-liquid. He doesn't trust his legs to work just yet, most of him is still trying to unlock and loosen itself, but he can grin.

And sort of talk. ]

You know... I had this weird dream. [ Some of the memories are blurred, sorting themselves out into order. ] Thought I'd lost you.

w a n d a

[ Somehow, he misses her in the medbay.

There's a lot to think about now that he isn't submerged in the weird liquid of the cryotube, now that he can think beyond a slow ramble that doesn't make much sense, and Steve realizes he's also missed, well, a lot. There are messages on his MID from weeks ago that he hadn't been able to respond to. There's something strange going on with the planet they're currently stopped at, and there's no one left in his room. He stands in the doorway looking at the neatly made oval-shaped beds, crossing over to his before sitting on the edge of it. The weight of the silence is almost too much for his freshly-revived mind, but he's been alone so long that it comes second-nature after a minute or two.

He takes time to search the MID and its directory, seeing less faces than he remembers, and it's something he's still trying to work out even as he finds Wanda in the device and begins to type. She might not like the surprise of the words, but Steve to connect despite his separation from everything else. ]

Are you okay? [ The status of his team is unclear, but at the very least, he will check in individually until he has a full story. ]

Comments

[dislocked]

[ Bucky is there the instant he hears him, the shift and movement and the soft hiss of the tube as it releases its captive -- he doesn't understand it, but he doesn't stop him from grabbing the edge of the thing and flinging it open, grasping for Steve's hand when he reaches for him. ]

Steve. [ His grip tightens on his hand as he helps him up; his best friend is naked as the day he was born, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters aside from the fact that he's awake, that he remembers him, that in the span of Steve's stay in here no one else had come for him. He'll figure that one out someday, but today, Steve needs him. He helps him up, an arm around his waist and coaxing Steve's around his shoulder as he functions as Steve's support, helping him up from the cryotube that he's come to loathe. (Anywhere is good, anywhere is better than staying inside there, because what if the tube decides to swallow Steve up again?)

Steve looks a little worse for wear, but it's all right -- the ice takes time to melt, and he doesn't think before he presses him close, as if he could heat him up with his own body. Everything in him hates how cold Steve is, shivering and vulnerable, and he doesn't hesitate when he hugs him tightly, ice crystals and nakedness and all. He's owed this, after days and weeks of vigil, after hoping and waiting for some sign, any sign that he would be all right. He has a lump in his throat he can't swallow when Steve talks about losing him, and he fishes for a blanket as he pulls away, about to guide him to the floor.

Steve's lost the Bucky he loved, he thinks -- he's not the one he's searching for, not anymore. He's an imposter, a monster wearing Steve's best friend's skin, and even if he remembers, even if Hydra could never take Bucky's memories of Steve away from him, he has never felt more false. It's a confusing, distracting churn of feelings, of relief and a rearing self-hatred and a longing that he cannot stop. Maybe just for awhile, he could be the best friend Steve's been pining for. He could be what he needs. ]

I'm here. [ He feels like the world's greatest liar. Killing and lying, he's good at them both now. He stays close all the same, unable to wrench himself from Steve's orbit. He will wake up, he thinks, he will remember, and the light that is now in Steve's eyes will go away. ] I'm here, Steve. Got you some clothes as well.

[abide]

[ It takes him longer to process than usual, aware of the burning warmth of his friend beside him and then the sudden weight of arms around him. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thinks finally even as his hands shakily grasp the material of Bucky's clothes and hold on, and right now, he doesn't know why he thinks that. He doesn't know why his heart aches when he takes a breath and breathes in something that's distinctly Bucky along with the countless other things filtering in. He doesn't know why it makes him feel sick in a way he hasn't been since he'd been young, why he just wants to keep standing there and never let go ever again, but it's probably the aftermath of being in stasis so long that does it. It has to be.

It's all he wants to believe it to be.

When they move, Steve is aware of several more things all at once too: he's naked (which makes sense given what he'd just left), there's a distinct throb behind his eyes like he'd gotten punched too hard to see straight, and they're sinking to the floor, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to add to the heat that feels absent from his body. He's also tired, like he hasn't slept in days, but that doesn't make sense either. Not much does, not when he's trying to piece it together on his own, and he looks at Bucky when they're sitting side-by-side, when the world doesn't feel so backwards or twisted, when it's so much simpler with him like it's always been, and for those few moments, it's muddled enough that he has no problem reaching to grasp his friend's hand—his left gripping and squeezing Bucky's right. ]

Thanks. [ The word is only a fraction slurred compared to the first time he'd tried saying his name. Steve blinks once, staring out across the medbay. ] What happened? How long was I in there?

[ Why was he in there? Steve doesn't exactly remember how he'd wound up in medical, and he rolls his head to the side to glance up at the cryotube, the scuffs and dents along the front like someone had tried breaking in standing out against the otherwise smooth curve of it. The sudden shiver that overtakes him is deep, distinctly remembering once more why he dislikes the cold so much, and it's unconscious how he leans into Bucky's side, waiting for an explanation but content to let himself catch up until he can figure out why none of this feels as right as it had been once. ]

[dislocked]

Twenty two days, five hours.

[ Bucky would've provided the timing down to the minute if he needed it, right to where he'd discovered Steve and had tried to get him out -- but Steve probably didn't need that much detail. He sits with Steve, for a moment torn between keeping still or responding; this iteration of him is unused to physical contact, tension wound taut in his shoulders as he schools the instinctive flight response.

Extenuating circumstances: Steve had just come out of cryosleep, and Bucky had kept faithful vigil for almost the whole time, watching over the one man who makes any sense at all in a world that Bucky had woken up in, the one who holds the missing pieces of the puzzle. ]

I don't know what happened to you, only that I found you in here. [ He frowns, wonders if whoever is responsible had wiped Steve's memories of it -- after all, a person's thoughts are malleable, and your mind is often your greatest enemy. Bucky's learned that the hard way, again and again. His arm gingerly moves around Steve's shoulders, and he can't help but think about how cold he is, how they need to get that body temperature up. Not even Steve Rogers is immune to hypothermia. ]

Stay closer. What else do you remember? [ How very strange it is that he's on this end of the conversation. Bucky tries not to think about it. ] What was the last thing you were doing?

[seeingscarlet]

[But it's a good surprise. She'd reach for the thread of Steve's mind if they were closer but distance is still an issue sometimes.]

I'm all right. [It's close enough. Other people have dealt with a lot worse.] How are you feeling?

[abide]

[ It's a relief to read those words. As much as he'd felt it seeing her name on the directory, he can never trust technology too much not to lie to him or fabricate the truth in some way. Things are still a little blurry for him anyhow, and he knows he's missed so much; at least he can trust Wanda to be honest. ]

Like I was asleep too long. [ It's meant to be a joke, some tease that would have sounded better in person than through text. ] Where are you right now? [ Maybe they should do that. ]

[seeingscarlet]

[It falls flat over text, and unlike some people (Natasha), Wanda chooses not to needle him over it. Usually.]

The library. But I can come to you.

[She's not sure what cryo does to someone but after being under for almost a month, it wouldn't be surprising if even Steve felt a little off.]

[abide]

Yeah. [ There's no hesitation in that. ] Yeah, if you want. I'm in my room.

[ For now, at least. He needs to figure out what to do now that he's out of cryo, sort out the information he's missing. Steve's also sure Wanda knows where it's at, but just in case: ] Mero 009. No one's here.

[seeingscarlet]

Be there soon. No napping.

[She remembers where it is - hard to forget when she's obligated to go by it on the way to her own room. 15 minutes later there's a knock on the door, though Wanda can sense Steve's presence, bright and strong, on the other side of the steel.]

[abide]

[ There's a quirk of his mouth at that comment, having decided that he wouldn't do any of that long before being told. Despite the inevitable exhaustion that comes from it, Steve needs to be focused on where to go from here—a future that isn't so precisely lined out. He moves to let her in as soon as she knocks, offering a careful smile. ]

It's good to see you. [ He feels the slightest pull of awkward tension as he stands there. ] How's everything been?

[seeingscarlet]

[Wanda says nothing for a moment as she enters the room. Has he heard about Amissis-Re and the alter-Ingress? Because after what she's seen, she really doesn't know how to answer that question.]

...I saw Novi Grad again.